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BallerNight37
Posts: 3
Registered: ‎06-19-2007
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Video Game World

Hi, im a 12 year old 7th grader in the process of writing a new science fiction book by the name Video Game world.

Page 40:

“He lay there, dropping a small steel disk which we took no notice of. By now, all of the rest of my species were gathered. The human stood up, and ran. He ran faster than anything I have ever witnessed. It happened so fast, no one had a chance to go after the annoying human. Then, it happened. My world emerged in a fury of bright yellow, red, and orange, all mixed together in a blaze. The disk had exploded, and burst into a giant circumference of flames. The flames covered me and my fellow soldiers burst into flames, altering into ash. But, I kept on flying through the thin air, flipping end over end. Then, I felt pain. A fast, sharp pain that I had never experienced before shot through my body. I hit the ground hard, breaking my spine and my collar-bone. I was going to die. And I knew it. Nothing could save me now. The strongest of shots wouldn’t stop the pain. I lay there, surrounded by black ash, along with the mangled body parts of my companions scattered around me. And I started to twitch, and finally decided to shut my eyes. Forever. Our race had no chance left on this cruel planet. Anorths had no chance from here on. There was no army, no men left to do the work. My squad, the most powerful squad had been diminished by mere humans. The odds of us making it through this were 1 to 1000. As I shut my eyes, out of the corner of my vision, I say my half dead friend, crippled, making slight movements with a communicator in his hand. He mumbled a few words, and I closed my eyes in defeat, knowing life was over.”

Currently, there are 140 pages. Post and tell me what you think.
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BallerNight37
Posts: 3
Registered: ‎06-19-2007
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Re: Video Game World

and no one cares... to think of all the time of 205 of those pages..
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dianaprince
Posts: 357
Registered: ‎10-11-2007
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Re: Video Game World

I care!!! I write books for your age group and I think that I would like to hear what happens next in the story! I admire you for writing in such an abstract way and creating an (anti)hero out of an alien. Please tell me what happens next!!!
"Adventure is worthwhile in itself" -- Amelia Earhart
May the Force of Fashion Sense be With You!! :smileyvery-happy:
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