More and more, I've come to believe that difference between kids with high self esteem and those with low self esteem is an engaged parent.  That's a bold statement, I know, but you gotta admit, it stands to reason.  If the first people you have a serious relationship with, your parents, take you seriously--listen to your stories, dance with you at parties, sit down with you in your room and play with your stuff  (cootie catchers, baseball cards, lincoln logs), it has to mean that you are more compelling to them--at that moment at least--than all the other things they might be doing, right?  

My dad raised his children in the 70s and 80s, back when women had panty lines, men wore ties on planes and businesses actually closed up for the night at five or six.  Edward's pocket is always beeping or vibrating right in the middle of Claire's breathless report about Mrs. DeBlieck's new dog or Georgia's overview of the 2nd grade arthropod project.  If I'm being honest, I too am now lured away from them by incoming missives from readers or the publishers or my agent.  

But it went beyond the times.   Many of my friend's dads found a way to shortchange/overlook/ignore their children without the help of an iPhone.  My dad was, and still is, overflowing with a genuine interest in our lives--GT's sales call, Booker's lacrosse game, my reading in Des Moines--it's all so exciting to him.  That's why it thrills me to see The Middle Place on the bestseller list--a story about an ordinary guy who loved his children well.  

May Greenie be a model for all the dads out there.  Who were the men in your life who stepped up to the plate and made you feel important and special?  Happy early Father's Day.



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Comments
by Melissa_Stoller on 06-29-2009 06:49 AM
I agree -- every moment together with your children is a "teachable moment."  In these fast-paced times with so many distractions, why not strive to make meaningful connections with your family as you move about your day.   For creative ideas about starting a family book club to foster a lifetime of connections, read "The Parent-Child Book Club: Connecting With Your Kids Through Reading" (Melissa Stoller & Marcy Winkler, HorizonLine Publishing, 2009) and visit www.parentchildbookclub.com
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