Grammar, Mergers, RFPs: Not words that often hang out together. But they do around the delightful Jane Curry and Diana Young, who teach executives at some of the biggest financial, marketing, and consumer product corporations in America how to write clearly, effectively, and brilliantly. We talked to Jane and Diana about their new book, BE A BRILLIANT BUSINESS WRITER, which reveals the outrageous and engaging minds that have made them stars.

Be a Brilliant Business Writer

Q: Why do some people fear grammar?

Diana: Because it is scary. The indirect object is at least as unintelligible to the normal mind as Quantum Mechanics, but it doesn't get the same respect.
 
Jane: People who fear grammar fall into two hellish categories—both ringed by the flames of shame:

1. Those who were scarred for life by high school English teachers who linked self-worth to understanding how to correct pronoun antecedent errors.

2. Those who work for people who have made correcting pronoun antecedent errors their raison d'être.

So I say, shake off your fear, and take heart because these teachers and bosses will live bitter, shallow, friendless lives until they die, as well they should.

I'm also quite surprised that Diana thinks indirect objects are as unintelligible as Quantum Mechanics or more so. First, while only 6 people understand Quantum Mechanics, I know at least 14 who can recite the entire works of Henry Fowler (Fowler's Modern English Usage) in their sleep.

As for her professed (read: not actual) fear and uncertainty about grammar in general and indirect objects in particular, this may be a geographical issue. I know for a fact that if you hail from the Mid-Atlantic states or the Northeast, you know what an indirect object is, and you even know what the object of a preposition is; in fact, you find the midwestern proclivity for saying, “Hey, do you want to come with?” an affront to human decency.
 
Q: What do you think is the most common grammar mistake people make?

Diana: Following all the radio announcers' lead and referring to themselves as “myself,” which actually doesn't sound half bad in this sentence. Another one comes to mind, as I'm waiting for a plane and steeling myself for when the pilot says that we'll be taking off “momentarily.” I have to stop myself from wailing in fear. Is bad usage bad karma?
 
Jane: The most common mistake people make about grammar is worrying about grammar. Sadly, I suspect most people spend more time worrying about whether they have used the right pronoun (Which is it? I, myself, me? Oh, for the love of God, how can I go forth with a glad heart?) than they do worrying about nuclear proliferation and efforts to remove references to Thomas Jefferson from history textbooks because Jefferson espoused separation of church and state.

Q: What grammar point always trips you up personally?

Diana: The “hopefully” conundrum. I cannot use that word correctly.

Jane: Sometimes, when I am totally schnookered, I say, “It's time for myself to stop drinking.” Most of the time, though, grammar helps me feel better about myself; in fact, when I am feeling especially down, I like to conjugate a few verbs in all 14 tenses.

Q: What point of grammar secretly delights you?

Diana: Semicolons and parallel structure. Nothing too arcane.

Jane: I have no secret grammatical delights: I love grammar in the wide-open light of day, which is why you'll often hear me exclaim: “Please, everyone! Please! Please come! Please come meet my love, the correlative conjunction.” For real, suggesting that people take “secret” delight in points of grammar is a sad commentary on the bleak emotional terrain across which most people trudge during their sorry lifetimes.
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Thanks, Jane and Diana!

What are your favorite points of grammar? Least favorite? I do like semicolons and parallel structure, myself.

Ellen Scordato has 25 years' book publishing experience as an editor, copy editor, proofreader, and managing editor. She's now a partner in The Stonesong Press, a nonfiction book producer and agency. In addition to her work at Stonesong, Ellen has taught grammar, punctuation, and style at the New School for more than 12 years in the English Language Studies department and taught English as a Second Language at Cabrini Immigrant Services.