Living to Read versus Reading to Live

[#1]

Actually, a combination of film and book...I was going through a divorce (living by my lonely self for the first time in 27 years) when the first Lord of the Rings movie came out.  I spent a lot of time re-reading the books and going back to see the movie.  I kept the stubs ...actually saw it 16 times!  Kept coming back and looking up the lines from the film to find out where they actually were in the books, then I'd read something in the books and go see the film to see if it was in there exactly the same way.  It made it easier to come back to an empty home when I had some "research" to do.

[#2]

Excellent post, Bethanne, and a subject so many of we book freaks can relate to.  My childhood relationships w/ books probably was like yours.  As I grew older, reading still ruled, and I made time for classics I'd never gotten to, as well as the best new lit.  So reading shaped my life in a way only music came close to.  But the books that changed my life are romance books, novels I came to only a few years ago at around 40.  In them I found books that connect me to explorations of women's issues, relational and sexual power, self-determination, womens' fantasy and -- best of all -- unapologetically satisfying endings.  The heart of romance, 'emotional justice,' as Jennifer Crusie refers to what I'll simplify as 'the essence of romance that lifts one's spirit,' is what makes so many readers turn to the genre when they need to get through tough times -- or simply need a brief escape from the rigors of real life.

[#3]

I made reference to this before but I had a rather "odd" childhood.  Abusive, alchoholic father, living with a biker gang for a year, traveling with a carnival for 4 years and I could go on with the strangeness that was my youth but not really the point.  The point is that growing up I really could not relate to people my own age, especially with the carnival, I was the oldest kid so all my "friends" were adults.  Now obvisously that's not the most workable situation so I tended to turn to books for my friends.  They were the one thing that would never let me down, tell me to shut up, or dissapoint me. 

Now as a reasonably adjusted adult I still tend to turn towards books when I'm having a bad day or need a pick me up.  They are still my way to relax, unwind, and chill out.

[#4]

I never had a book that "saved" me - I had a pretty normal middle-class childhood - but there are a couple of books that really opened my eyes and brought more of the outside world to me.

And the Band Played On by Randy Shilts - I read it in high school and, being a scientifically-minded kid, I was already interested in social patterns and HIV spread.  What I didn't know was the extent to which the government and conservative groups really contributed to the stigmas and delays in research - and this is the book that broke it wide open.  My eyes were open and I was mad.

Reviving Ophelia by Mary Pipher - there's been lots of discussion both for and against this book and its subject but what happened was I understood (suddenly) why some people in my high school acted the way they did.  As I stated, I'm pretty mundane but I was a dancer and was on the dance team at school (along with band, choir, drama, and you name it) so I knew a number of girls with eating disorders, depression, etc.  Pipher's book brought some of those problems into focus and gave me some understanding of what other girls were going through

[#5]

pedsphleb, thanks as always for a great comment -- I wanted to say that having a book "save" you doesn't have to be a book saving you from something traumatic. It could be as simple as having a book save your from YOURSELF -- we all have flaws, which can be as minor as not knowing everything (i.e., every single one of us). Sometimes a book opens your mind to an entirely new way of thinking. The two books you cited are wonderful examples of how books can "save" us from ignorance. (NB: I am not in any way saying you were ignorant before you read these books, only that every time we learn something new we become less ignorant. I hope that's clear!)

[#6]

I both live to read, and read to live. 

The one major thing I've had to battle all of my life is, sadness.  I'll call it that, because for most of that life the word "depression" was never used.  And I've read all of my life to take that "sadness" away.  At one very low ebb in my life, A friend suggested I attend a nationally recognized Bible study program.  I did.  She saw what I needed, where I couldn't.  I was thirty. I studied for close to four years, and those Bible studies saved my life, at that time.

Into my forties, depression brought me to my knees, literally.  When that happened, not even a book would take it away.  Another friend gave me the courage to take the halting steps into a therapist's office...knowing there was no turning back.  Over the years, while I saw him,  he either gave me recommendations for books to read, or just gave me the books as gifts.  I found books on my own, as well.  Too many to mention.  I was also raising two kids, reading books on parenting... and going to school, sudying art at the time.  Two books come to mind, at the moment, which helped me to discover who I was, as a person, a parent, and as an artist.  Over the years, on B&N, I've recommended these books to people who have found themselves in this same situation as I was in:

The Courage to Be Yourself - Sue Patton Thoele

A Woman's Guide to Emotional Strength And Self-esteem

Drawing On The Artist Within - Betty Edwards

An Inspirational and Practical Guide to Increasing Your Creative Powers

We all have to know how important we are, important to ourselves, and important to others; some of us just struggle a little more than others, and power to all of you, for reading whatever it takes to find this out, and keeping you strong.

Right now I'm reading one of Kay Redfield Jamison's wonderful books:

EXUBERANCE, The Passion for LIFE. 

She's a doctor of psychology who specializes in Manic Depressive disorders.  I highly recommend this author.

[#7]

Nice blog repost - I know I've read that before. 

For me, reading helped, but I wrote my way through dark times. From my teens alone I have boxes and boxes filled with thousands of sheets of notebook paper where I escaped the world through my imagination. None of it is good, they read like soap opera scripts, but I created for myself a world where I was in control.

To this day I find myself grabbing a pen and paper or plopping down behind the computer to write through difficulties.  Books, to me, allow me to focus myself on something, someone, somewhere else.  Books allow me to be free to the earthly shackles of time and life.  And I love them. But writing is the true way for me to cope. I think it's the control tat it affords me. I can't change the storly line of a book or essay I read - but I can do anything I want to with something I created myself.

Sounds a tad selfish, doesn't it?

[#8]

JCFC, no not selfish, just a singularly narrow approach.  As we discover, what works for one, does not always work for another.  As with styles of writing, or reading material.  As some people use the quote:  "No two people read the same book."

For every reason someone gives for reading, someone else will give a reason for writing.  Abilities, perspectives, opportunities, quests....all reasons are never ending.  I think Bethanne gave a succint answer...to be saved can mean anything, and the approaches can mean anything, as well.

Knowledge of reasons, and reasoning;  finding these appropriate approaches has always been my goal to life.  Since we were talking about reading, here, that's how I looked at this subject.  There are the places, those dark places, where light never touches.  I found that reading, with help, gave me the knowledge to find the light switch.  I also wrote, once my hand was capable of turning the switch on.  Knowledge gives way to opening doors;  opening minds.

Reading or writing, it can all be liberating.  But I prefer not to use any of this as an excuse to escape from life.... And in the same breath,  we all need breaks, to allow us to breath..... I want to learn from what I read, so I can learn from what I write..... 

[#9]

I'm not sure if a book has ever "saved" me before, but I know of one that did help me a lot...

In middle school I was one of the people that everyone liked to pick on, and sometimes things would get to the point where I'd actually run out of class and cry, completely ignoring the fact that I was going to get into trouble. Sometimes I actually refused to go to school. The reason that everyone seemed to tease me so bad was because I was different (which seems to normally be the case in these sort of situations) and I ended up feeling like that was wrong somehow. 

But, one day when we went to the bookstore I picked up a very special book called "Starting" by Jerry Spinelli. I was glued to that book for days on end, my nose stuck in it every chance I got. The story is about a boy in high school who is basically just your "average Joe". His name is Leo, and he's not very interesting, but he's not very boring, either, and he's always freaking out about what people think. So, in short, he's not different from anybody else, though he actually wants to be. 

But, one day, a new student comes to school, and her name is "Starting". In short, she's just about the weirdest girl ever. She brings her pet rat to school, cheers for the opposite team at games, and played Happy Birthday for people in the lunch room. Of course, the more Leo learns about her, the more he comes to like her, and eventually they start dating. 

Things go well for a time, and then people start to make fun of Leo, too. The pressure of everyone scorning him become too much, and then he convinces Stargirl to change, and become one of the "normal" people. And she does, for a time, but then she ends up changing back, because she knows that she'd rather be herself than be accepted. 

The story is very moving and emotional, and back in middle school, though I didn't understand all of it, it really did help me. I guess sometimes the best therapy in life really is literary. 

[#10]

Having grown up in an extremely abusive household, books truly did save me. No one book in particular but the act of going into a story, to leave the pain of abuse that as I child I had absolutely no control over created a safe place to exist if even for a short while. What began as a way of coping with life, not escaping it, I developed a passion for reading and ultimately my choice of career.

Reading can open new doors for many, save a battered soul, educate, inform and entertain. What blessing books are on so many levels.

[#11]

As a teenager after the death of my father Stevie Nicks, Joan Jett, and Anne Rice's Interview with a Vampire, keep me sane.

Being home sick with a combination of pneumonia, bronchitis, sinusitis, cold, flu, and a viral infection of the cartilage of my rib cage; a close buddy brought me a copy of Steven King's uncut The Stand and Concrete Blonde.

Music and a good book can get you through anything.