In D.C., a new monument to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. paraphrases one of his quotes, leaving out many words. Poet Maya Angelou, among others, laments the inscription, saying it makes King sound arrogant. "Omit needless words": Strunk and Whites's dictum from their classic book on writing The Elements of Style is drummed into writers' heads, especially young writing students heading back to school. But when are words needless--or much needed?
Maya Angelou, one of America's most beloved poets, is also one of the strongest voices for African Americans speaking out today. And she's not happy about some recent editing. A former Poet Laureate of the United States, Angelou is the author of the world-renowned
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings as well as Letter to My Daughter She’s a woman who knows the deep value of every well-placed word.
So did Martin Luther King, Jr., the mid-20th century civil rights activist and Nobel Peace Prize winner whose powerful speeches are studied and memorized to this day, admired not only for their content but for their beautiful and effective rhetoric. King’s phrasing was honed and polished until it cut like a knife through ignorance and confusion.
So what happened on his recently unveiled monument? As reported in the Washington Post,
King’s quote:
“If you want to say that I was a drum major, say that I was a drum major for justice. Say that I was a drum major for peace. I was a drum major for righteousness. And all of the other shallow things will not matter.”
was to be inscribed on the monument. Because of a design change, the quote had to be edited and shortened. Carved into stone, the quote now reads:
“I was a drum major for justice, peace and righteousness."
The Post notes Angelou’s response:
“The quote makes Dr. Martin Luther King look like an arrogant twit,” Angelou, 83, said Tuesday. “He was anything but that. He was far too profound a man for that four-letter word to apply.
“He had no arrogance at all,” she said. “He had a humility that comes from deep inside. The ‘if’ clause that is left out is salient. Leaving it out changes the meaning completely.”
Surely conciseness is a virtue in many kinds of writing. To “Omit needless words,” as Strunk and White say, vastly improves much business and functional writing. But determining what is “needless” in poetry and speeches can be dangerous. Editing and paraphrasing must preserve the original meaning and intention of communication.
In my opinion, this edit failed. The original meaning and spirit of the quote was lost. At the same time, there are real physical limits to the space on the monument. What would Strunk and White have done? What would you have done?
What do you think? How would you have paraphrased the quote?
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Ellen Scordato has 25 years' book publishing experience as an editor, copy editor, proofreader, and managing editor. She's now a partner in The Stonesong Press, a nonfiction book producer and agency. In addition to her work at Stonesong, Ellen has taught grammar, punctuation, and style at the New School for more than 12 years in the English Language Studies department and taught English as a Second Language at Cabrini Immigrant Services.
