A few times in my life, my dreams have told me something true which I'd denied when I was awake.

 

The first example I remember comes from a time when I was dating a heavy drinker who'd declared he never wanted to marry me.  I thought I was deeply content anyway.  One night, lying beside him, I dreamt a strange dream: I envisioned some bright, happy home with a wide-arched ceiling, a family sitting down to a meal, and children playing on the rug inside.  This was "marriage" in a picture.  I woke myself up by the sounds I made sobbing.  My boyfriend woke up too, and when I told him my dream, he said my unconscious knew more about what I wanted than I did.

 

Sometimes, that's true. 

 

This week, my dreams told me something else about what I really wanted.   Over the last few years, I haven't been reading or writing much fiction, although those were the things I had used to define myself in my 20's.  I've been too busy teaching lately to read fiction for fun. 

 

Last week, my mother recommended The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society.  The novel is about a group of friends who start a secret, illegal book club during the Nazis' occupation of their village.  They risk their lives to keep their book-love vital.  The novel is essentially a love song to why books matter. 

 

During my week of reading the book, I thought about how much I missed the creative life--reading and writing for the pure joy of it.  While I thought of those things in a mild, conscious way, my unconscious was much more manic in longing.  My dreams went haywire.  I dreamt in colorful, day-glo fantasies, seeing creativity in symbolic images.  In one dream, I walked into a neon studio in which my cousin had a magic hammer that allowed him to create anything in the world.  Crowds came to see him invent.  In another dream, I was swimming around exotic fish who could both sing and kill me. 

 

On the night that I finished the novel, I dreamt of walking into a Cave of Creativity in which the hermits had decided to "lock me out."  Again, I woke up sobbing loudly. 

 

It felt funny--because if you asked me to my waking face, I'd swear that I haven't consciously felt "locked out" of anything at all this year.  But dreams can be strange and show us what we feel but don't have the language or perspective to talk about.  We don't always see what we feel, so we don't know it's there.

 

I've been thinking that great novels and deep dreams often work in tandem.  They can show us what our unconscious desires are.

 

--

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Message Edited by IlanaSimons on 06-03-2009 11:07 PM
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Comments
by on ‎06-04-2009 03:24 PM

Just a thought, nothing profound:

Missing creativity - when always in the back of your mind - strong flavored novels do seem to force us to see this yearning.  What keeps us from it, who knows?

by Moderator Melissa_W on ‎06-04-2009 03:55 PM
Maybe there's a big novel inside - a little teasing with Guernsey and your brain decided to let you know there's a story in you, too.
by Blogger IlanaSimons on ‎06-04-2009 05:11 PM
Thanks guys.  I do think that my river of creativity has been pushed pretty deep as of late.  I'd like to let it bubble up.  My dreams forced me to let it.
by on ‎06-04-2009 08:20 PM
Well I have problem solving dreams. Ever have a conversation years ago that for the life of you, you have no idea why it went down the way it did, or why it ended the relationship (friend, lover,ect..)? I'll every so once and a blue have a dream that breaks it down for me. Explains everything, even the motivations I aparently picked up on subcounciously and still failed to at the time recognize. I always feel so much better the next day. Though it is an odd thought that deep in my brain somewhere it spends time mulling over confusing conversations, just to play them back to me 10 to 20 years later.
by on ‎06-04-2009 11:18 PM
06-04-2009 05:20 PM
Well I have problem solving dreams. Ever have a conversation years ago that for the life of you, you have no idea why it went down the way it did, or why it ended the relationship (friend, lover,ect..)? I'll every so once and a blue have a dream that breaks it down for me. Explains everything, even the motivations I aparently picked up on subcounciously and still failed to at the time recognize. I always feel so much better the next day. Though it is an odd thought that deep in my brain somewhere it spends time mulling over confusing conversations, just to play them back to me 10 to 20 years later.
I love to look at dreams...I believe they give answers to a lot of questions/feelings, whether we seek them out, or not..
But, No, TB, I can't say that I have had a situation that happened many years ago, and have it resolved now, in a dream.  I would wonder, I think, why it wasn't resolved then, or if it were, how would that play in my current relationships. 
 Current situations, I believe, always can set off some kind of underlying neglected feelings.  Of course, resolutions are always best, if our conscious will allow it..
by on ‎06-04-2009 11:48 PM

Yeah don't really fully understand it myself. Past confusing conversations about people I've never seen, missed or even thought all that much if any about for years.

 

The dreams where I remember where I left something, I get those. The dreams where something that's been bugging me I get handed a solution to, I get those. The dreams where I'm doing something I always wondered what it would be like and doing it well, I get those. The just fun ones, easy.

 

But those People of the Past dreams, while I enjoy the results. (shakes head) (shrug) beats me.

by on ‎06-05-2009 02:20 PM

TB, I think a lot of these unknown questions, and answers to these dreams, comes across in symbolism.  What I know about dreams, you could put in a thimble.  But I think it's interesting to try and figure out what those symbols mean [specifically] to us. 

 

If dreams are re-occurring, there has to be a reason for it.  If they don't bug you, then you can ignore them.  Lately, this past year, I've had a lot of dreams that have bugged me. I've been reading a lot of different genre novels, too.

 

I normally don't dream really intense and emotional dreams.  I usually try and deal with emotions in my reality state.  Suppressing them seemed to force them out in the night's subconcious.  I've started to hate going to sleep, knowing I'll wake in a mood that sucks the life out of me. 

 

I can identify feelings with reading certain novels.  I'd been reading Kate Morton's, The Forgotten Garden.  It took me close to a month to finish it, mainly because it was constently putting me in an emotional state of melancholy.  It's beautifully written, with a more than interesting story, but the feel of it was making me cry every time I turned around!   I'd go to bed and try to read it, and cry...I'd wake in the morning, crying.

 

My sister-in-law, who was just here last week, read it while here.  I asked her how it made her feel.  She didn't have the same reaction to it.  I was trying to figure out what it was about that book that touched me in that way.  There was a lot of loss by these characters, both physical losses, and emotional losses.  Loss seems to be a key player in my psyche.  I  guess I don't tolerate it well.  I'm learning that certain writers have a way of pushing my emotional buttons.

by on ‎06-06-2009 03:55 AM

Kathy seems like quite a few of your dreams are trying to get to to notice something. If the books your reading are mergeing into your dreams, more than your comfort level. Hmm perhaps you're picking up books that subcounciously regester with you.

 

But me I'm a pretty emotional person awake and asleep. 

 

Some books just click with you. "Yaya sisterhood" made me  terribly homesick, and I'm not even from that state. Gave to a friend, she didn't get where I was commming from. My mom though; read it and called me saying it made her homesick, what did I think of it. Books are like that sometimes, I call those deep echos.

by on ‎06-06-2009 11:06 AM
Yes,  TB, "deep echos".  Writers who resonate internally with you.  I don't like being [showing], or feeling, emotional.   And yet I'm an emotional reader and writer.  Lovely!  Ha!
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