Sometimes when I feel like I’ve been reading too much genre fiction – imagine your mind as the liquefied results of blending together a witches’ brew of vampires, zombies, ghosts, Lovecraftian monstrosities, sentient robots, seductive demon hunting heroines, muscle-bound warriors, etc. – I feel it a necessary evil to leave the safety of my cozy book reviewer/hermit’s lair and go out into the world to experience reality.
Imagine my shock and bewilderment when I decided to visit the New York State Fair. Lost in the frenzied, often ill-tempered ocean of bovine-like humanity, I let the waves of jabbing elbows and blindside body blocks lead me to glorious, life-changing destinations and truly enlightening, existential experiences… Well, that may be overstating it a little but the antique tractor display was awesome!
Yes, there was the giant butter sculpture and the beef barn jamboree and the Iroquois village and the miniature pig races and belly dancers performing in the International Building but for me, the area in and around the Midway – where all of the rides and games are – was the most memorable. On second thought, memorable may not be the right word here…. it was downright surreal. I saw someone walking around dressed exactly like Michael Jackson circa his Thriller video – wearing that red zipper jacket in 90-degree weather must’ve been really uncomfortable – and a strangely tall and thin man decked out as a vampire complete with fake fangs and wearing a black leather duster pretending to be a statue as the crowds passed by staring at him. Over by the speedway entrance, I saw four inebriated men experiencing the transcendent joy of public group urination (it reminded me of an old Who album cover). I saw countless body piercings, more than a few foot-high Mohawks, literally hundreds of mullets (men, women and children), people with tattooed faces, and, inside the Midway tents, a woman with the body of a snake and some things – to borrow a classic line from National Lampoon’s Animal House – so profound and disgusting that decorum prohibits listing them here.
So, hours later – after ingesting way too much fried pizza dough and cotton candy – I was back home, safe and relatively sound within the confines of my fortress of books (i.e. home). And I wondered: are the characters and events in fantasy fiction novels that disparate from what we see in the real world every day? Sometimes, especially on days like this, I think not… And I don’t believe my recent Twilight Zone experience at the Great New York State Fair has anything to do with myself getting prudish or judgmental in my old age – I’ve always found the Fair to be a surreal place. To illustrate this point, here is a satirical poem I wrote back in the 1980’s when I was just out of high school entitled “New York State Fair.”
NEW YORK STATE FAIR
By Paul Goat Allen
me and Tony
jumped the fence
back near the train tracks
and went in search of
adventure
sausage and hot pepper sandwiches
fried pizza dough
draft beer
and loose women
wearing pink cowboy hats
and missing teeth
the Midway was the best
Tony met some girl
still in high school
he was in love with
and I watched
some drunken idiot
punch a greasy carnie
covered with tattoos
because he couldn't
hit two balloons
with three cheap darts
and win a poster
of Jim Morrison
for his girlfriend
who couldn't care less
Isn’t it funny how not much has changed in 25 years? (Except that the Jim Morrison posters have been replaced with those featuring Jay-Z.) The question is: Why do I continue to return to the State Fair when I’m repeatedly appalled, outraged and generally disillusioned by the state of humankind? To experience reality, of course! Now, like Punxsutawney Phil, I can happily disappear inside my house for another year and immerse myself in mountains of glorious literary unreality… So long world!
Melissa_W
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