MonicaBurns
on
@KathyS - Thanks Doll!! I should have figured that one out! 
I was thinking there was some magic wand Michelle had that she was using.
KathyS, thanks for the help with the smilies. I never knew how to do them all. Way back in '06 when I started my RBTB blog, Monica had to drag me kicking and screaming into the 90s by fronting my a copy of online acronyms. Like, who knew rothflmao meant something good? It is true, as you say, that cover images and titles can be as frustrating for consumers as for authors. It's a delicate balance that takes some consideration, the idea that the way publishers market and sell books tends to help us all in the long term: authors sell books so they can write more, we get to read more of the books we love and support more authors. Lots of hiccups and glitches and flat out disasters in the process. But then, the course of true love(stories) never did run smooth, I guess... 
Hey! The icon thing worked! Thanks!
Yes, Mon, this is a discussion I easily could have with you for hours, I think. I was saying that if we say that porn is pretty much the sole stuff of men's fantasy, then by rejecting out of hand "porn" as being devoid of anything healthy or positive we're first being naive about what even healthy men fantasize about and how they connect sex/intimacy/love and second making the same sweeping statement about every bit of another form of entertainment that folks make about ours.
Third --and you touched on this a bit -- I'm wondering if we're not afraid to open a can o worms by possibly admitting that some erotica runs a little close to simply being about turning on the reader. We may know the inner emotional workings of the characters, but if the scene/story is a drive-by hook up w/no hea in sight, does the mere fact that we consider the art of writing more refined than the ability to work a digital recorder make the former art and the latter porn? And do we consider where the story is published to be the decisive factor in delineating porn from erotica? Because I remind you that not too many years ago, some folks considered e-pubbed erotic romance 'less than' paperback pubbed fiction, and not just cause it was digitally pubbed, but because of the "graphic" sensuality.
See what I'm sayin'? I'm making arguments because I like to be thoughtful about stuff, and one question usually leads me to another. I'm certainly not advocating pornography as a replacement for intimacy. Nor do I advocate reading erotic romance, erotica or romance in general in the same way for women. While we often point to the ways reading romance can enhance the 'love lives' of women who read it, it also can be used by women to ignore lack of intimacy in their lives. I certainly believe it empowers more women than anything else, but like anything that feels great, it can become addictive and be used to sooth pain. My information on that only is anecdotal. But perhaps that would be an interesting study: Have you ever had to cut back your romance readingso you could concentrate on your relationship/s?
hi, stacy1. I like you you put this: I always think of porn as the more selfish act, primarily concerned with one's own pleasure, instead of wanting both characters to be having a good time. It's about feeling good physically and emotionally. That is very enticing, isn't it, when reading a sensual or erotic romance, knowing how much more satisfied one or both partners is when they realize how fulfilling making love is when they're sharing the pleasure? such a good point you've made.
tiggerbear, a bear after my own heart. I get nervous if I can't classify something. That's why I'm always asking you all for your input! 
Hi, Portia! Truly: cake; love; sex. What could be better? Yes . It's chocolate cake.
cake and packages, ames? hmmm. I have to say, though, I've read some erom that's left me feeling ooky. To me that means that it's bringing up something for me that I've not come to terms with, or simply doesn't arouse me sexually. But I know it arouses someone else and usually launches into some long consideration about what makes that thing arousing and before I know it I've wasted a ton of time surfing the Inet for info. Sometimes I wish I could just stop thinking However, visual pornography is really hard to assimilate and can get ooky fast, probably faster for chicks than guys, though I'm no expert.
hi, eva. This is going to sound silly, but, I'm wondering what not emotionally satisfying might be. I know some people don't like a story with a 'soft' happily ever after. They want marriage, engagement. Other's just want 'optimistic,' like "we're going to live together and hope for the best.' I'm thinking about erotica w/no commitment and, as I said to monica, just a hook up. If both partners only want that, I guess what would be considered 'emotionally satisfying' for them and a certain category of reader. But I think other readers might shove that right into the 'pornography' category. I'm not trying to shoot you down, just trying to say that the slippery slope that makes it difficult for the courts to define pornography also might affect our view, too. Thoughts?
This is funny, Michelle, you mentioning liking, "what the guy is thinking". My thoughts on this.
That book I mentioned of Julia's, that I threw towards the wall, twice? She let us know what 'everyone' was thinking, everyone had a say in that story....it was good to a point, but with the main guy character, it drove me nuts! I didn't want to know what that guy was thinking! He said one thing, and thought something else! It made me want to kill the SOB! And his wife went back to him, never having a clue...that's why I threw the D**n book!
(BTW, the sex scene in her book (with secondary characters) was on the edge of rape. It didn't fit with her writing style, nor in her story.) I hate out -of- the -blue sex, with no rime or reason.) But, like we've all said, whatever works for you. It obviously was a personal choice by the author.
For some reason, I don't want to hear the thoughts about sex, in a guys head. I'd rather hear it come out of his mouth! In his thoughts, alone, it just sounds sleazy.
Also, Michelle, I like the way you write: You're the true 'honesty-driven-devil's-advocate'.
