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Sapphire's Push: A Portrait of a Woman in the Blur Spot
I’m still painting portraits of women writers on paper plates for The Lower East Side Girls Club (who are having their walk-a-thon in NYC next weekend, see here).
The plate here is of the novelist Sapphire, who wrote Push, a novel that was made into the movie Precious.

I made her skinnier and more raw than she really is in life, see here:

Though I didn’t read Push, I loved Precious, a movie on the horrors of social class in America. The movie shows how useless the good intentions of people with privilege can be, and how indelibly damaging abuse is. It shows the gap formed by inequalities in education and social services.
Sapphire is a master storyteller who brings these ideas home with emotional force. And when I’m moved by the person I’m painting, I sometimes use extra caution about overworking the image. I leave the portrait at the blurry spot—thinking the energy of the subject can be bigger than my interpretation of it. That is, I know I too often do over-paint, meddling and controlling things. In certain cases—when I feel the right giddy respect for the subject—I stop a bit earlier, feeling that the form can bounce powerfully when I’m not doing so much explaining.
This difference which I know in painting—between over- and under-doing my part in what’s expressed—has its analogy in conversation. I think. That is, when I’m speaking with someone I don’t quite relate to or trust, I sometimes tend to overdo my side of the talking; I try to guide what we’re saying. But when I’m in conversation with someone I trust, I sometimes let suggestions themselves do more of the work; I don’t cut the other woman off as much; I have less need to “fill stuff in” because I know she’s going to do a lot of the meaning-making.
Ilana Simons is a therapist, literature professor, and author of A Life of One's Own: A Guide to Better Living through the Work and Wisdom of Virginia Woolf. Visit her website here.
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I would have liked to have heard your feelings about this interpretation, given directly to you from the author, not from the movie director's, sound guy's, lighting man's, costume designer's [and what doesn't end up on the cutting room floor].... point of view.
Naturally, you'll see your own conversations in this way, as an annalist would. Not always to do with normal relationships, or normal conversation. In reality, it's called sharing. I do see some of what you say....but, also, just because we personally let someone else do the talking, doesn't mean we can trust them, or what they say. Where do they want to dig themselves?
I need to learn more of the truth from the light source.....in this picture.
These are the blurry lines I see.
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Liana,
My first impressions are always different than the feelings that end up resolving themselves in me over a period of time, when assimilating anything that has evolved from a state of passion, or feelings that create a tangible story, to see or to read. Each step takes time.
You did create what you wanted. I do see the rawness of this painting; the angular edges to the features. I see a lot of anger, though, or at least that's what I see in these brush strokes, and color choices. It feels chaotic and disjointed. Lost feelings going in places I can't define. Each of your paintings are unique. I've never seen a portrait artist take these liberties in their works of art. This is significant, in itself.
I couldn't sleep tonight, thinking about these eyes that were boring a hole in my mind. I wanted to erase them. They're alive, I see them looking in this direction. I don't know what they want to tell me, and I don't know what you want me to tell you. I'm not sure, anymore, what my purpose is, here. I'm not your teacher, you're not my student. You've already made up your mind, the paintings are finished.. What's in a critique that matters to you?
My first thought, as I crawled back out of bed to write this, was, I wonder what you would feel, if you put the brushes down and used only your finger tips to paint a face. To actually touch the face, to connect with it in this very intimate way.
Now, I'll go back to bed and hope to sleep.
Kathy
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More, much, much more, is seen in this painting of Sapphire. The title of her book is Push, and the title of the movie is Precious. How do these two names join us to make a visual picture of a writer?
Leaving the sketched drawing lines seen on the plate, is a very gesturally bold move. I like that. It's a preparation that leads to something important, on the fringe, the outskirts....the shared space that ultimately says what is intended. "I'm that person". "This is who I am." "Who I've become."
Lines and brush strokes are the signatures of an artist.
In thinking about the dark image upon the white surface, I think this influence has context in the whole of the picture's meaning. It says something very personal. Opposites, but joined by those significant signature lines.....Nothing about this painting is safe. Putting yourself out there is never safe, but you do it.
All of this reminds me of something I just wrote on my board, it was about being an artist. How do we find that place we call ours. What does it take to get there. Our personal journey into that place we call our own. No matter what I see in this painting [or someone's writing], no matter what I say about it, I can do nothing but appreciate it, because it's yours....your space to own.
Kathy
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Enjoy your glass of wine.
K.
Precious
Here in this day - gone in the morrow
with or without a passion's sorrow
past a lightness - past soft curl
filling brush - a mighty swirl
sweep of hairs across a face
leaving lines
without a trace
along the edge
crossing sides
another bridge
around again
tighten strokes
strangles ridge
back away
colors
push
color
sways
in
and
out
love
will
stay
stop
now
up
down
again
bold the concrete
crisscross and blend
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