Author Mingmei Yip, whose second novel, Petals from the Sky, has just been published by Kensington, studied with me at the New School. At a recent lunch celebrating her latest title, she asked me about my pet peeve as a grammar teacher and editor. I said that offhand, I couldn't really think of a particular irritant. Mingmei thought a moment, and answered that for her, it is the disappearance of "whom."
Later, I reflected that my pet peeve is really fear. Fear among writers and editors that they may be wrong, that they may make some obvious or obscure mistake--the fear that drives some to become inflexible ruler-shaking prescriptivists and others to quivering defensive apologists. The fear that makes people disregard grammar entirely, claiming it's "snotty," "stuck up," and irrelevant.
The two topics are connected, of course. Fear seems to rule the use of "who" and "whom." Some people throw "whom" around out of fear that they will look dumb if they don't, while others never use it for the fear of being called out on an error.
As discussed here on Max Syntax, the confusion over "who" and "whom" is a matter of case grammar. It is a confusion between the objective and subjective (or nominative) case of an interrogative pronoun. When the pronoun is the object, it's "whom"; when it's the subject, it's "who."
Sounds daunting? Not really It's also true of "he" and "him," and most English speakers have no fear juggling those two forms around in sentences. What often confuses people about the object and subject use of who/whom however, is its use in dependent noun clauses. A noun clause can be a subject or an object, and within the clause, there can be objects and subjects as well. Still, the quick answer to most who/whom quandaries is found by asking, "Would I use "he" or "him"?
Yet "who" and "whom" have become a sort of social marker, a status usage. Somehow vaguely connected in people's minds with the British, and upper-class accents, and butlers: "Whom shall I say is calling, madam?" or "Who shall I say is calling, sir?" Such scenarios cast terror into the heart of many everyday English users.
And for a long time, "whom" has barely been used in standard spoken English. (Verbal usage is realy a bit of a different animal from Standard Edited American English altogether, but that's another post.)
Because many people were never given the tools to figure out objects and subjects, noun clauses and simple syntax, they distrust their handling of "who" and "whom." Others who do have the tools may feel that the distinction adds nothing to clarity of expression and marks them as old-fashioned. And now, "whom" is disappearing.
Rumors abound that a number of large circulation magazines and newspapers may change their house style, instructing editors not to correct the usage of writers, or--even worse for some--deleting "whom" entirely from the lexicon.
Fear rules. So many English speakers don't understand, fear, or resent the use of "whom" that many in positions of authority over how the written word appears have decided not to use it. Descriptivists may shrug and say, "What of it? we used to use it; we don't anymore." And they are not wrong. But there is a certain delight in knowing how a language works, and working it--a delight to which I am not immune. Who will challenge my use of "whom"? That remains to be seen.
Is "whom" a relic? Do you use it? Are you sad to see it go? Let us know!
