My very beautiful and very pregnant wife attended a bridal shower last weekend where the bride-to-be took the Newlywed Quiz to see how well she knew her future husband. (“What is his favorite sport’s team?”, “What is his favorite cologne?”, “What was the last movie you watched together?”, etc.) After an afternoon spent consuming dainty and delicate finger food – you know, sandwiches cut into triangles with the crust cut off – and estrogen-fueled conversation revolving around babies, kitchenware, and, well, more babies, my expectant other half returned home with a copy of the Newlywed Quiz questions and, curious to know how well we knew each other after almost a decade of wedded bliss (that’s not what she calls it), we took the quiz.

Of the 20 questions, she only got one incorrect. For “If you could live anywhere, where would it be?”, she thought I would’ve answered somewhere in rural Central New York, where I grew up. Well, she wasn’t even close. My responses were either in Tolkien’s Middle-earth with the hobbits (no, I don’t have hairy feet but I love second breakfast), R.A. Salvatore’s subterranean city of Menzoberranzan with the dark elves (I’m a big Drizzt Do’Urden fan and living underground would certainly cut down on our energy bill), or somewhere in Ursula K. Le Guin’s Earthsea, where magic is not only an integral part of the archipelago culture but robes and staffs seem to always be in vogue (I have a thing for robes and staffs).

This strange chat with my wife reminded me of a thread that was started in Barnes&’s Fantasy and Science Fiction forum earlier this year, fittingly entitled “You Know You’re a Science Fiction/Fantasy Geek When…”, where myself and dozens of our regular visitors offered up short anecdotes to complete the statement.

So, in an effort to make my wife understand once and for all that I am, in fact, not harboring deep-rooted psychological issues because I want to live in various fantasylands, here are some of the more memorable posts that prove that I am not the only one living with this seemingly incurable bibliophilic condition. (Thanks again to all of you over in the F/SF forum for coming up with these gems!)

You Know You’re a Science Fiction/Fantasy Geek When…

... you have actually read J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Silmarillion.

… you own or have owned a 100-sided dice.

... you can make perfect lightsaber fighting sounds with your mouth.

… you’ve seen every episode of MST3K (Mystery Science Theatre 3000) and can quote lines.

… you have a bumper sticker on your car (or a sweatshirt) proclaiming yourself as a proud graduate of Miskatonic University.

... you've administered a Voigt-Kampff test to your kid brother/sister. Just to be sure.

…. you’ve tried at least once to move something to you hand by using only your mind.

... you've considered someone racially insensitive because they casually confused Klingons with Romulans.

… you buy Crown Royal for the bag to carry your dice in.

... you know what filk music is, and you've actually listened to it.

... you show up at your local gaming store to play Star Fleet Battles and you’re wearing a nasal strip for improved oxygen flow.

… you won't take leaves or bark off a tree just in case wood nymphs really exist.

…. you’ve ever gotten into a car or plane and struggled to resist the urge to say “Engage.”

… you know someone who has learned elvish... and envied them.

… you have SF/fantasy cover art hanging in your home as art.

… you know what DAW stands for.

… you own a t-shirt that says "Sith Happens.”

… you post regularly on Barnes&’s Fantasy/Science Fiction Board.
by Chomp on ‎04-29-2009 11:46 AM

These are great, Paul.


You could add a new category, perhaps: Science Fiction/Fantasy Geek Tolerant, and the first entry could be: " When people you know exhibit any of these traits and you are not concerned/worried/scared."



by Moderator paulgoatallen on ‎04-29-2009 12:16 PM
Live long and prosper, Carol.     :smileywink:
by on ‎04-29-2009 03:14 PM
Paul,  If I ever have another son I'm naming him Goat in your honor
by Moderator paulgoatallen on ‎04-29-2009 04:53 PM

Ryan... Ah......Okay. Thanks, I guess. :smileyhappy:


It's actually not that bad of a name considering some others – Apple, Moon Unit, etc. But he's going to have to grow a Gandalf beard at some point in his life, it's a law in all 50 states...


by on ‎04-29-2009 09:31 PM




Another great post and I'm glad that I'm a Science Fiction/Fantasy Geek.  And I guess that I could add another one ...When you collect Dragons and Unicorns.



by Blogger L_Monty on ‎04-30-2009 04:11 PM
I'm going to have to disagree on the MST3K thing, if only because I used to watch it with friends in college, and almost none of us were Sci-Fi/Fantasy people and would have to look at our one friend who was to get him to explain the more obscure stuff. Since so much of the show is founded on ridicule of Sci-Fi/Fantasy movies and their tropes, you can make an argument that enthusiasm for the show is as much fueled by contempt for those genres as it is by affection.
by carmen22 on ‎04-30-2009 04:47 PM
All I have to say is just toooo Funny!! Thanks for the Laugh Paul!!!
by on ‎05-01-2009 03:35 AM



The irony of that is the true haters don't watch that show. The haters who do are just in the SCI/FI geekdom closet.

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