Unabashedly Bookish

[#1]

About a week ago, I finished reading Edmund White's autobiography.  It wasn't a great book.  It was a bitchy book--a gay man's report of his professional frustrations, his sexual obsessions, and the times his heart was broken.  The book name-drops and sometimes rambles.

Some chapters read as if they need another edit, repeating phrases.  He doesn't tell his life story chronologically; and in the end, he apologizes that the order of events was a bit arbitrary and inefficient. 

But if it was a bloated book, I enjoyed it.  I could get into it, because it was over 300 pages.  He describes sex with famous people, dropping acid with philosophers like Foucault, and enduring hangovers in his NYU office--so it was entertaining.  Its flaws made it feel like conversation.  This was a long chat with a novelist and critic who'd partied in Paris and New York and wanted to tell me about it.

Now I've got a feeling I've had after finishing a few other good books: I'm sad this one is done, and I want a new one to keep me company, but I don't think anything else will do right now.  I think of picking up other autobiographies or novels, but I worry they won't be as full of personality.  Or informative.  I'm coming off a high, and other possibilities look dim in comparison.

Maybe I just want Edmund White's ideas to infect my head for a bit longer, before I put a new voice in there.  His language is still echoing, and it would almost feel like betrayal to turn to new ideas too quickly.  Finishing this book is almost like saying goodbye to a friend--as lovely and lonely.

Maybe I'm thinking like this because my mother is visiting New York right now, and we just had dinner.  We said goodnight at a street corner, and she rode away in a taxi.  I came home hearing her voice; and I'm thinking of how we sustain people we love by internalizing their ideas and holding onto their perspectives.

Finishing a book that has meant something to me is like saying goodbye to someone I've come to know.  "It's been nice."  I want to hold onto that person's style, maybe because I worry the next mind won't entertain me like she did.  Her company makes other options non-options for a bit, because it's hard to trust that a new friend can take her place.

I wonder if you've felt this: You enjoyed one book, so you resist picking up a new one for a while.  Others authors look pale in comparison to that old voice; you want to make sure you've gotten the most out of one author's mind, delaying the time when you have to turn to another.

[#2]

I know exactly what you're saying, Ilana.  It's a topic that comes up often, after a wonderful book discussion.  On the last FLC, we not only had the great novel, Under This Unbroken Sky,  but an author who spoke with her heart....she gave us so much....the day it ended, I felt a void.  I thought, how do I top that?  I also gave my heart into that discussion.

Over the years, I've felt this often....  You watch the characters dance...and sing, until they've given you those intimate parts of themselves, you've also shared your life with them...in thought.....and you want to hold onto them as long as you can.  You want to know more about what happens to them in their lives. 

I mentioned on the Fiction board, recently, that I just finished a novel by Lisa Tucker.  Her latest book came out this month, The Promised World....the sadness I felt for her characters was deep.  Mental illness was the major theme in this book...depression....so these last two books I've read, have given me a lot to think about....  It's taken me a while to stop feeling for them.  Lisa is a master at pulling you into her characters.   You want to reach out to them.  You want to tell them you understand them completely...... But, I've learned, I can't always expect happy endings....if I want them, I have to make them.  Lisa leaves it up to us.  I'm always left with a good conversation, even if it is in my own head..

Kathy

[#3]

p.s. 

right now I'm reading Dan Brown's novel, The Lost Symbol, yes, it does pale in comparison, if I were to compare...

[#4]

Hmm happen to me with any really good author I find. Of course I find it helps to go talking with anyone who'll listen about them, to spill out the over filled cup of my brain, books like that cause. I didn't read for 6 weeks after I discoverd Neil Gaimna's "Neverwhere". Should have know something was up when the sale clerk grabbed my by the shirt in excitement when I plopped it down on the counter.

[#5]

Thanks for the tips.  Maybe I'll try The Promised World. 

Tigger: I relate to the 6-week fast.  For the last few days I've picked up and dropped books, looking for something to entertain me as much as the last one did.  I understand that Gaiman has a cult following.  I once saw him speak--interesting guy!

[#6]

I know I've recommended Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison, a bunch of times, her memoirs are a must....I just got her new one, "nothing was the same".  Shandi Mitchell's novel, Under This Unbroken Sky is the most powerfully written novel I think I've ever read.  It's not just character driven, but nothing can touch the atmoshere she creates around them.  This one I recommend you read next, Ilana, totally.

[#7]

It happens to me a lot. Just recently, in my "Exploring Literature" group, we read "The Worst Hard Time" by Timothy Egan. It was not an easy book to read; it is a book about the people who stayed and survived the Great American Dust Bowl. Not only is the book a historical record about a time I know nothing about; it is an omen of things that may happen again, since we apparently learned little from the outcome. It was such intense reading that I had to write myself tons of notes to research words, slogans, places, names etc and after our group was done with the book, I had the feeling that I had just begun. I didn't want to touch anything else for a couple of weeks, because i didn't want to lose my curiosity about the 1930s. I color-coded the villains in the book red and the "good guys" green and spent my waking hours reading background material after the rest of the group went on to the next book.

Another book that kept me in its claws was "The Book of Ebenezer Le Page," by G B Edwards. I think I mentioned it on several occasions before; this book made me feel as if I knew the old man and I actually had to follow in his foot steps. It was a different relationship from the one I had with the more recent book. Reading and finding Ebenezer was like meeting with an old friend and I didn't want anybody else to come between us. It took several weeks to break away.

In comparison, reading "The Worst Hard Time" was more like finding a kernel of truth and not wanting to let it go. Wanting to make sure that it would resonate long after I had read the book. Wanting to learn the lesson.

The longest I waited between books was after Greg Mortenson's "Three Cups of Tea." It was like finding a hero. It was one of those occasions when I curse my limitations.( I wanted to say "rare occasions" but that would be a lie. The older I get the more this happens.) Instead of taking off for Pakistan I sulked and tried to find something to top his book. It didn't happen.And so I did what I normally do after a book has kept me from going to the next - first I try to read short stories, then  I read something totally opposite. After Mortenson somebody gave me "Momo" by Michael Ende and I called the selection an act of serendipity. I don't usually like Dystopian Fiction, but the little girl Momo stole my heart while I was reading her story, and she gave it back to me with a smile when I was done.

(BTW, I was unable to sign into Barnes & Noble for almost two weeks, but after a complaint - actually I whined because I had to use my tiny Netbook to reply to a post - on the First Look Board Paul H came to my resuce; I downloaded Firefox and all is well now.)

[#8]

Ilana -- are any of the current African authors in your TBR file? 

I just enjoyed Nadine Gordimer's The Pickup.  (Oh, my, why can't I add product when posting here?)

I have just read Nuruddin Farah's Maps for a course I am auditing on Postmodern Literature.  He has a more recent novel Links, apparently centered on Operation Hope in Somalia.  Very interesting writer.

There are several other names coming my way, but am too lazy tonight to go pull them together.  Although there is African women criticism, most of it still seems to be directed towards male writers  (Feminist criticism is eschewed as too "Western.")

Oh, yes, have you read Angela Carter?  Or Caryl Churchill's plays?

(These are all to someone who introduced me to Murakami.)

Usually I have too many books going at the same time or waiting on my TBR stack to take the time to savor the last one, but sometimes it does just seem to happen.  (But can't remember the last one right now, although it did surprise me that I found it so hard to let go of Madame Bovary last month, a book I had never gotten into before. I am one of those who often says that it not necessarily the books that I "like" that I find the "most valuable" or the "most engaging"....)

[#9]

I am not a book snob ,but I do choose my books carefully,,,,,,I hate being disappointed.I must say I thought outside and inside the box when signing up for Hush Hush.....Engaging...well written and will surely keep your interest,I .believe you will be pleasantly surprised,Surely a copy can be found for you..let us know what you think....Just a challenge..Vtc

[#10]

Thanks for the responses. 

Peppermill--you're right that I am far too often centered on dead white men.  My blindspots.  ...and I'm currently reading Chekov with a big smile on.  Tho I think the next book on my list is The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao.

Sunltcloud, I just googled Three Cups of Tea.  I can understand a story like that slamming me to a halt and a full self questioning. I have to try that one soon.  I love your compulsion to translate books into life: r.e. your amazing engagement with The Worst Hard Time.

[#11]

I just finished reading "Pillars of the Earth" by Ken Follett and loved it so much, I posted all over Facebook about it.  It was an amazing response I received and so many people loved talking about the book with me, with great suggestions for future reads in the same vein. I was so tempted to go out and buy "World Without End" and every other Follett novel I could find.  Should I stick with the same author and just immerse myself, or venture out to discover new authors while I'm on this book-loving high?

I'm now reading "Dooms Day Book" by Connie Willis, which was one of those suggestions by a trusted book fiend friend of mine from a Facebook thread regarding "Pillars."   I'm so glad, it's been great so far!

[#12]

Peppermill--you're right that I am far too often centered on dead white men.

Ilana -- wow, I didn't think that was my point -- didn't even realize I was saying it, if I was!  Just saw you as a reader and thinker who seems to like to stretch the boundaries of what she brings inside her box -- or to ignore the walls.  Most of my suggestions were from readings that have done that for me -- as Murakami did.   Pepper

[#13]

you're right that I am far too often centered on dead white men.

(snickering into back of hand) Well you said it.

Umm can I ask; is it habit, preferance, social group,or a need to expand your horrisons?

It can help to get out of the book rut by reading things well outside of your norm.

[#14]

I tend to ignore most book suggestions by most people.  There are only a very select few people in my life that I take suggestions from.  Suggestions are only personal perspective favorites, and may, or may not, have any relevance to whom you are suggesting them to.

This has been another waving branch, maybe only to me?  I'm taking another obscure look ......how do I draw this one?

I wonder about so many things, and reading authors who are dead, as apposed to the living,  is one of them.  I wonder if we are more capable of taking the dead author apart, their work, in the process of application of their words to our personal thinking....are we more afraid of the living?  Are we afraid they'll have more to say to us, especially in trying to interpret their philosophies?  I don't really know.  I think about the dead, and the wisdom of tried and true authorship.  They're here to stay; for us to either accept or reject. 

The living change, whether writer, or not.  Wisdom evolves, taking us, as readers, with them.  It's not the most secure way, but it's the exciting adventurous way.  Possibly?

K.

[#15]

(shrug) For me the differnce between dead and living authors is this. If you want further books on the subject or style, you've got a better chance with a living author.

[#16]

If I want to read something, I don't really think about whether the writer is dead or alive.  If I check on an author, their mortal state likely would be of only incidental interest.

[#17]

Suggestions are only personal perspective favorites, and may, or may not, have any relevance to whom you are suggesting them to.

Well said,  Kathy  -- at least much of the time.

[#18]

Suggestions are only personal perspective favorites, and may, or may not, have any relevance to whom you are suggesting them to.

Well said,  Kathy  -- at least much of the time.

On the other hand, Is there a beter way to get to know someone at times than by reading a book sugestion of theirs?

[#19]

Suggestions are only personal perspective favorites, and may, or may not, have any relevance to whom you are suggesting them to.

Well said,  Kathy  -- at least much of the time.

On the other hand, Is there a beter way to get to know someone at times than by reading a book sugestion of theirs?

[#20]

Another point is...

.....we can suggest books to people, but if they are like me, they keep changing to the point where maybe that book isn't what that person would read at the present time..  If I've just come off of a deep and thought provoking story...I find it hard to hear anything that anyone has to say to me, about what I should read next.  We don't know how much that person needs, now.   I don't always know what I need.   I pace around the room for days, turning over many books, reading titles, authors, but never wanting to make a choice as to what to read next.  I finally shut out all books to read, and let my feelings dictate to me.  Then I wasn't feeling well enough to read....I only wanted to close my hurting eyes, and sleep....nothing could entice me then.  There are many reasons why we pick up a book to read.  What do we want it to feed in us at those moments.  I have at least a dozen books lying around, partially read.  I just finished Brown's book, and even though it had its moments of light, it was a major disappointment for me....I wanted more light, not the darkness I found in it.  Last night I impulsively picked up a book I had, The Secret Garden....I've had it for at least a year.  I've finally decided to read it.

Exploring books, and the motivation we have in reading them.....

I have a friend who  I apparently know her taste in reading, because every book I loan her, she loves.  After she read the last one I gave her, I asked her what she felt like reading next.  She said, a mystery.  But as we all know, there are mysteries, and there are mysteries. 

TigggerBear, as you say, it is a way of leaning who that person is, I agree...by reading their suggestions, but I tend to learn those facts about people, first...and that's how I look at it.....but there is no guarantee...which comes first....?  The cart or the horse?  Making suggestions on these boards is difficult....that person has to know who I am, and my taste in reading habits, to trust my judgement enough to look at that suggestion seriously.

[#21]

Me I'm always finding out disapointments about people when I read some thing they loved. I'll go talk to them afterward and (shaking head) it just makes it worse. 

If I have a instintive feel about someone, I'm always right. But anyone I understand from conversation, flip a coin.

Though I do agree books are mood driven.

[#22]

TiggerBear, that's interesting.  How can you find disappointment in people by what they read?  I don't understand.  Tastes and people are never the same. None of us agree on everything we talk about.  Can you explain what you mean?

[#23]

Making suggestions on these boards is difficult....that person has to know who I am, and my taste in reading habits, to trust my judgement enough to look at that suggestion seriously.

Sometimes it is just putting it out there and let what happens happen.  Sometimes it is just another way of browsing -- in a store, in a library, among one's own bookshelves -- maybe something will get picked up, maybe it won't, sometimes it may get laid back down.

[#24]

Example of what I just said -- recently a book on one of the posts caught my attention.  I sent info on it along to my f-f bookclub, altho I wasn't certain yet I was going to read it.  They have decided it is going to be one of our reads in 2010.

[#25]

Pepper, I know what you mean about browsing.  In the FLC, you don't have much time to browse, though...so I read what I can about the book, maybe an excerpt, or hear the author, then make an instinctive judgment.  Thankfully, so far, I've made the right choices where that club is concerned.

You know, Pepper, I'm thinking it was during one of our chats, that I decided to buy that book, The Secret Garden.  As I've mentioned, I don't remember any children's books I've read as a child....or if I'd read any at all....This one was recommended, I'm thinking it was by you.  

While my SIL was here a couple of weeks ago,  as I was pacing around the room, looking at books, I asked her if she had read this book.  I figured she had, because I don't think there is a dead author that she hasn't read!  ...and we do have similar tastes in books...she reads most all of my newest contemporary books while she's here.  She smiled and said she thought it was a nice book to read.   And thought I would enjoy it.   I think that's all I wanted, was something "nice".  It's an unusually written, in language, book.  It's sweet.  Nothing too ponderous,  taxing my brain.  I think Becke put it up for Oct. book discussion in her garden board.  I may drop a line or two about it then.  Anyway, thanks to whomever (whoever?) mentioned this book!  I'm enjoying it!

[#26]

You know, Pepper, I'm thinking it was during one of our chats, that I decided to buy that book, The Secret Garden.  As I've mentioned, I don't remember any children's books I've read as a child....or if I'd read any at all....This one was recommended, I'm thinking it was by you. 

Maybe, Kathy, but it was possibly someone else.  We did discuss it on these boards (Classics?) sometime within the past several years.  I was rather half hearted about it, but it is much as your description in your comments. However, I am glad to hear it is a fit for where you are in your reading time.  And, yes, I believe it is or has been on the Garden board.

One I do frequently mention (or at least did in the past), which I haven't read for years and years, is the much darker I Never Promised You a Rose Garden.  It seems to have two authors (Joanne Greenberg/Hannah Green) when I try to trace it now -- perhaps first published under a pseudonym.  (The comments by those who re-read it say it was powerful years later -- I may have to see if our library system has a copy -- my own is long gone, but I do remember it well.  What I recall as most powerful may not be in the story itself -- it was the returning to mental health to face the reality of Europe before or during WWII.)

[#27]

TiggerBear, that's interesting.  How can you find disappointment in people by what they read?  I don't understand.  Tastes and people are never the same. None of us agree on everything we talk about.  Can you explain what you mean?

Well it's a combination of false perception about their tastes and discovering I was just completely wrong about them. So I'l ask "Ok didn't get it, you like ... because?" But then their answers afterwards completely radically shift the way I think about them. It not finding a difference in tastes it's discovering things like; not as smart as my estimation, wow they really think such behavior is ok, ect... 

It's one thing to discover the buddy you've been eating chocolate ice cream for years also likes strawberry. It's something else entirely to discover they like garlic ice cream and think it should be vegetables not fruit in desserts. Or that they are lactose intolerant and they leave meeting with you with a belly ache and just didn't have the sense to say anything about it.

[#28]

TiggerBear, that's interesting.  How can you find disappointment in people by what they read?  I don't understand.  Tastes and people are never the same. None of us agree on everything we talk about.  Can you explain what you mean?

Well it's a combination of false perception about their tastes and discovering I was just completely wrong about them. So I'l ask "Ok didn't get it, you like ... because?" But then their answers afterwards completely radically shift the way I think about them. It not finding a difference in tastes it's discovering things like; not as smart as my estimation, wow they really think such behavior is ok, ect... 

It's one thing to discover the buddy you've been eating chocolate ice cream for years also likes strawberry. It's something else entirely to discover they like garlic ice cream and think it should be vegetables not fruit in desserts. Or that they are lactose intolerant and they leave meeting with you with a belly ache and just didn't have the sense to say anything about it.