Unabashedly Bookish

[#1]

Critics not intimately familiar with the genre long have attacked the romance construct as co-dependence glorified: Heroines slice open emotional veins to make "better men" of heroes detractors label "aggressive bullies," "stalkers" and "misogynists." 

Yet many of us who've lived the trials and triumphs associated with loving - or being - someone with an addiction appreciate that romance authors don't celebrate addictive behavior or personalities for effect. Today, romance reflects the courageous nature of recovery by depicting it as warts-and-all heroic, and creating male and female characters made more attractive for their harrowing journeys toward recovery.

Devon Manning, the heroine of Shiloh Walker's engaging and tenderly sensual "Fragile  ," turned to drugs at 13 after her aunt's new husband sexually abused her, and her aunt tossed her in the streets to punish Devon for "seducing" her aunt's man.  Over a decade later, Devon's a driven child-welfare specialist like the one who helped her find hard-won recovery and a solid adoptive family.  When Devon's emotionally and sexually attracted to a hot, empathetic ER doc who seems to understand more about her than she'd like, Devon has to decide whether she's fought for recovery so she'll never be hurt again - or so she can be strong enough to try for the love and intimacy she's begun to believe she deserves.

Sometimes the addict may want love, but not be so hepped about shaking the habit.  Throughout Charlotte Featherstone's deliciously erotic and achingly romantic "Addicted  ," Lindsay Markham views his adoration of opium with equal parts antipathy and captivated reverence.  He enjoys using, especially when the attendant sensual hallucinations include Anais, whom he's loved since childhood, and lost through every fault of his own.  When Lyndsay earns another chance with Anais, he's confounded as to why she'd help him out of his opium haze, and resentful; even if he sheds the habit, will he habitually feel unworthy and indebted? Perhaps he'll simply live moment to moment having exchanged insecurity for the vulnerability that comes with daring intimacy...

Unlike substance use, some addictions force one to attempt a healthy relationship with the object of compulsion during recovery. Such is the case with psychiatrist Roch Savage's sex addiction in Stella Cameron's intriguing and provocative "Cypress Nights (Bayou Series)  ."  While Roch's sexual predilections are pretty aggressive, he's worked diligently to be in control of himself and his sex drive.  So it just figures he's emotionally attracted to pretty, gentle Bleu Labeau, whom Roch suspects has deep-seated physical intimacy issues.  If Roch explores their romantic connection, he risks the inevitability of his wanting to express his love sexually - and could ruin both his and Bleu's chances at experiencing healthy passion, relational intimacy and love.

Before all you armchair Dr. Phils out there ask, yeah, we romance readers get that celebrating addicts finding love is a little like advocating the classic recovery cliché of swapping one jones for another.  That there's a no brainer, for as respected clinical psychologist Louis Cozolino states about addictions and romantic relationships:

"The biochemical systems regulated by relationships are the same as those impacted by cocaine and heroin...the experiences of craving, dependency, and withdrawal are similar in both romance and addiction." (Neuroscience of Human Relationships  , pg. 120)

Yet the key to the successful intimate relationships within the novels I've recommended - as in the lives of recovering addicts - is engagement and conditional entitlement.  A hallmark of successful recovery is remaining aware that the addictive personality remains just that and constantly must be respected, yet mastered.  But the empowered recovery is stabilized by the former addict's perfect right - the only time entitlement ever is a given - to loving and being loved. 

Are addiction and recovery topics that add to or detract from the romance of a novel?  What changes over the years have you noted in how addiction and recovery are presented in romance?

Michelle Buonfiglio writes daily about romance and pop culture at Romance: B(u)y the Book (RBTB). Click here for more of Michelle's "Unabashedly Bookish" columns.

Message Edited by Michelle_Buonfiglio on 06-09-2009 02:17 PM

Message Edited by Michelle_Buonfiglio on 06-09-2009 05:42 PM

Message Edited by Michelle_Buonfiglio on 06-09-2009 05:47 PM

[#2]

Maybe all romance novels should be read lying on a couch-----next to Dr. Phil?

[#3]

Well, I certainly approve of the first part of that, KathyS! As to the second, I prefer a nice bag of cheez puffs.

[#4]

Michelle, I'm glad you enjoyed FRAGILE-thanks for mentioning it!

My personal views on addiction in romance will just depend on how the author presents it.  There's no 'walking away' from addiction-you're always addicted, you always want it.  So a book where a hero or heroine was an addict and somehow miraculously cured just wouldn't work for me.

[#5]

Michelle, as ever a really thought-provoking post. I think a lot of the most powerful romance novels are stories of redemption so addiction and recovery certainly work within that arc. It's not precisely a romance novel, although it's breathtakingly romantic, but one of my favorite series of books includes opium addiction and an unshrinking description of its toll - the Game of Kings series by Dorothy Dunnett.

[#6]

What a coincidence -- I bought copies of Stella's and Shiloh's books this weekend at the Lori Foster event. I've read other books of theirs and liked them a lot, and after reading your teasers, I'm really curious to read these books.

I'll have to think about this topic before responding, since I hadn't really thought about this before. 

[#7]

Actually, now that I think of it, the new J.R. Ward book has a strong theme about addiction. Pretty heavy stuff.

[#8]

Exactly, Shiloh.  I don't remember yet reading any HEA/ANM (addicted never more) romances -- which doesn't mean there aren't plenty, I just haven't read em. But it's nice to note that addicts aren't only seen as antagonists/ anymore.  Addictions breed their shares of messes needed cleaning up, and leave lots of pain in their wakes.  So I guess it's fair to represent folks who are out of control w/no desire to change in the light of day, as it were. But it's very cool to see this new trend toward HEAIR (in recovery).   Thanks for writing Devon and Luke. I'm really looking forward to Luke's brother Quinn's story, and how he finds his hea after years of abuse.

Thanks, Anna.  That's exactly what I'm thinking of, speaking about the price of addiction and why we sometimes see addicts in roles as villains.  The villain of Kressley Cole's McKarrick (sp) bro series is an opium addict who probably came by his addiction almost "honestly."  Yet, even though his friends tried to show him the tough love and make him sweat the opium, he'd either reached a pathological state -- or always was in one.  He was an assasin, after all...  

Just an aside: For so many, recovery includes acknowledging, if not outright repair, of damage done to others because of one's addiction.  In terms of codependency, it's unfair, I think, to fault the depiction of a lover helping her partner toward recovery as being codependent, don't you think?  Plenty of healthy folks fall in love with folks w/addictions working toward recovery.  IRL, it takes a courageous person to support someone in or moving toward recovery. Part of that courage is to support w/out being codependent. That person, too, is worthy of celebration in romance.

[#9]

Ayup, becke.  I wondered initially whether Ward would address Phury's "red smoke" use as an addiction at some point, or just keep  it on par with the Grey Goose the Brothers dig so much.  I don't remember reading whether his addiction was planned, or it developed when folks started looking at the red smoke as akin to a street drug, rather than something vamps dig.

[#10]

Wow. What a subject--on our way to baseball, so this comment will be short--what I like about romances today that depict addictions is they seem to be much more realistic in the addiction and the road to recovery--I also like that it's not always the hero with the addiction but also the heroine.

[#11]

Yes, Michelle, that statement of mine was sort of 'tongue-in-cheek' (tongue removing cheese puffs from between the teeth, probably). 

A metaphorical Dr. Phil resides by our sides.

The good Dr. Phil would be feeding the cheese puff addicts words of wisdom. 

Love doesn't conqure all, I'm afraid, he would probably say.  There are some merits to helping cheese puff addicts, hopefully one heroine/hero doesn't fall prey.

I'm sure Dr. Phil has his own cheese puffs of choice...crunchy, spicy.....He's sitting here on the couch beside me, saying:   Any topic of vulnerability makes me want to eat a bag full.  But, I have to watch my weight!  We have engaged, I've made my choice, and there definately is entitlement to those cheese puffs.  He likes spicy, and I like crunchy.

(p.s. - don't ask me what I just said)

[#12]

I've read this in historicals as well with LADY BEWARE  by Jo Beverley where the hero was addicted to opium.    Most I read in historicals with addiction were with opium and alcoholism. I've read some of contemps, but not much with that (I know too that drugs and the like is more frequent in mainstream books like thrillers and suspense and mystery) since my husband reads that genre.  A couple other historicals I thought of was MIDNIGHT ANGEL by Julie Beard.  Just wow on that one. I think it was the first I read that dealt with that as well as a heroine helping him through this withdrawal and more. I highland suggest that one as well as Jo Beverley. I can't recall of any but also read some that were set in American Indian that had used some sort of smoke that they made as a drug.  I used to read alot of that genre so I can't recall it.   I ordered Shiloh's book and still waiting for it to come and so can't wait to read that one!

[#13]

What an interesting topic! I've never actually really thought about that as I somehow seem to have missed the books where one of the h/h is an addict.

However, I can remember reading about a book, a historical which was part of a series, where the hero had a heavy problem with alcoholism. I think he's a former hero's brother, but damn if I can remember the name of the book, the author or the name of one of the protagonists. Can anyone help me?

[#14]

Hi Michelle, I enjoy all genre's of reading but especially romance and I'm not a quiet person about it either I will proudly brandish my evocative paperback book cover on my desk at work or wherever I happen to be. Hmm, addicts and romance I think they actually go hand in hand or vein in vein whatever the case may be. I think every one of us romantics still want to believe that "love will conquer all" and it's refreshing to still see it in print. It doesn't detract at all from my enjoyment of the book if there is addiction involved because those are the truly lost souls that all respectable heroines/heros want to "save". I think the biggest difference in todays savings from yesterdays is that the characters today that are the dysfunctional society misfits are more likely to be regular everyday Joes and Janes instead of some misunderstood duke, baron or king and the savior is more a part of the recovery effort and not some saving avenging angel where the addiction just goes away. And I think JR Ward did a beautiful job of it especially in Lover Avenged which was Rehvenge's story who is an empath and a big time druggie and drug kingpin who with the love of a good vampiresse and the good deeds of the brotherhood makes his way back from the dark side. Marie Bostwick's new novel "A Thread of Truth" also deals with marital abuse and the recovery from it and even though it's not a romance per say, the victim is helped through the love of friends and strangers.

So in a nutshell I enjoy that aspect of romance and will continue to. 

[#15]

Thanks for those recommendations, caffey!  Jo Beverly's just a master, and I'd love to read her treatment of addiction and the road to recovery.  And, truly, a 'just wow' on a book pretty much means it's a must read, so I'll try to track down the Beard.  Thanks for making the connections w/ the other genre fiction books. And welcome to UB.

Hi, Lisa!  Good to see you.  I'm not sure about the book, but we can ask on the Romantic reads boards where there are so many folks who know so many titles, etc.  You've got me intrigued... sounds like a series?

Hey, debbie, awesome thoughts and suggestions.  You've brought up a most important point, the connection between abuse and addiction; ridiculously high rate of folks abused turn to drugs and other addictions.  And a super observation, that we're not just seeing "important' folks turning to drugs because of isolation, stress of their positions (duke, etc), but folks like ourselves.  I was thinking of our being ready to read these stories as due to a kind of "Jerry Springerization" of modern sensibilities.  And not in a bad way.  Once we've seen in the media and even reality/old-school 'shock tv' enough of the destruction and pain untreated addictions cause, we're more likely to understand it's not a 'them' problem, but an 'us' one.  Meaning, we probably all know someone who's been or is going through it.  So we're comfortable with the abuse cycle, language, etc., and don't react like back in the day. 

Thanks for the JR Ward update!  Nobody was quite sure how a character like Rhevenge could be rehabilitated, as it were.

[#16]

Hi again, Michelle *waves*, thanks for wanting to help me. I think the hero's name is Rafe. Or the brother's name? I absolutely don't know why I think so but somehow I see the blurb on Amazon in front of me and Rafe stands out. However, I'm not sure about that. Bah, me brain's old'n'rusty, methinks...

[#17]

A very thought provoking topic. I can't say how I'd feel about the issue of addiction in a romance novel as I can't bring to mind any book I've read so far that deals with it. It's very challenging, and makes for profound emotional depth, and yet the fact that addiction is 'always there' even if the addict does conquer it... well, it does colour the 'happily ever after'. Maybe it makes it more satisfying and nuanced, because a happily ever after with ongoing issues is probably a far more realistic one than 'everything's perfect from now on'?