05-28-2010 10:07 PM
A time of great confusion,
A world scramble I created.
A new way of understanding,
A sentence clearly stated.
A world of inventive inventors,
That makes useless things.
A world of vain people,
Whose blessings are their rings
A world that’s make believe
Is a fine world if used an escape,
The characters are your pawns,
In this world of a reality break.
So choose your pawn, and choose it well,
Would you rather be the iron or the thimble?
In the world of vain puzzles and stories
There the dollar sign is the symbol.
06-12-2010 02:22 PM
Sorry, I don't mean to be a bother but......can someone at least tell me this poem stinks or something. I just want one comment (bad or good) so I can, you know, sleep at night. LOL Just kidding!
Please and thanks!
06-12-2010 04:08 PM
I like the imagery in the last stanza. Some of the language is also quite interesting: "vain puzzles." You might experiment with the beginnings of the lines. So many of them start with "a" and you might bring a more pleasing sound or rhythm by changing that up.