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JonathanSaunders
Posts: 12
Registered: ‎08-06-2009
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Drabbles

I belong to a small writing group that meets here in my town. Recently we did "drabbles", and I was just curious if anyone else here has written any. I instantly fell in love with them, and have written several.

 

So, this is going out into the void, known properly as "the internet"... :smileyhappy:

 

My First Drabble

She sat on her rock in the middle of the river. Always waiting for her knight to come. It was promised at her birth. That was thirty-two years ago, and still she waited.

 

But wait, what was this noise? A clank of metal, the crushing of leaves. Had the day finally come?

 

Indeed it had, the knight stood before her. He removed his helmet and looked at her, his eyes shining in the afternoon sun. He slowly walked forward, and cupped her face in his hands.

 

Tears fell down her cheek.
This was the start. Finally, it had come.

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"Just because you don't see them, doesn't mean they aren't there."
~ Jon Wieberg
Inspired Wordsmith
twilight_fanatic_01
Posts: 1,162
Registered: ‎01-02-2009
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Re: Drabbles

This is a very cool way to express yourself through literature - I think I myself will have to try and "drabble" just to give it a shot! I liked your short story, because it was quick and to the point. My only complaint is how you used the phrases "had the day finally come" and "finally it had come" in the same drabble. To me, it was sort of like someone using the word "he" to begin a sentence two to three times in a row...I think the concluding sentence should differ enough from the first phrase so as the reader will not view it as a form of repetition as I had. Nice work, and keep writing :-)
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JonathanSaunders
Posts: 12
Registered: ‎08-06-2009
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Re: Drabbles

Ah yes, I see what you mean. Though, it is hard coming up with just a few words to finish out a story when you're trying to get it done in a time frame. :smileyhappy:

My problem is that I don't like to go back and get rid of words that I used earlier in the story, so I just try to come up with something short.

 

The Second One

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I awoke with a start. I had a knife in my hand. Surprised, I dropped the knife and stubbed my toe. Bouncing up and down on one foot and yelping. I just barely missed stepping on the knife.

 

"WELL?" My wife asked impatiently. I looked around, having no clue what the hell was going on.

 

Apparently I had been sleep walking, had made my way down to the kitchen, and then started cooking. This was awkward.

 

I looked adoringly into my wife's eyes, and said as calmly as I could, "It looks like I'm making breakfast."

 

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention how these particular subjects and stories came about. How it started, was that we had a small pile of magnetic poetry tiles sitting in front of us. We pulled out a couple words that caught our eye, and then wrote about it.

 

The first one I had was River and Angel. This one was Cook and Sleep. I rather like this one better, though it does sound slightly confusing around the part of him jumping on one foot. Could have used a re-write there.

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"Just because you don't see them, doesn't mean they aren't there."
~ Jon Wieberg
Inspired Wordsmith
twilight_fanatic_01
Posts: 1,162
Registered: ‎01-02-2009
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Re: Drabbles

I see what you mean about how choosing words is difficult when you have a 100-word limit xP And I definitely like this second drabble better than the first - it was short and humorous and I still find this all very interesting. Meh. Reminds me that I need to stop neglecting my writing and sit down and type every once in a while xD
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JonathanSaunders
Posts: 12
Registered: ‎08-06-2009
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Re: Drabbles

Yeah, I have a tendancy to write more along the lines of comical. It bothers me sometimes, because I find it so hard to write more serious things. Which, I guess isn't always that bad. You have to have SOME laughs, or else the whole world is too dark. :smileyhappy:

 

I know what you mean about getting back to writing. I have some things that I have been setting off on the back burner, and have just been having fun with small stuff. I really need to get those stories back out and work on them.

 

It can be hard sometimes, trying to stay on one particular topic/story at a time. I get bored with it, and want to move onto something else. I think that's what draws me into drabbles so much. In as little as ten minutes, I can have a whole story, from conception to completion.

 

I keep thinking about writing a little book of drabbles and other short muses, just for fun. Not sure if anyone would read it or not, but it could be fun to write. I could introduce the world to drabbles. ;-)

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"Just because you don't see them, doesn't mean they aren't there."
~ Jon Wieberg
Contributor
JonathanSaunders
Posts: 12
Registered: ‎08-06-2009
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Re: Drabbles

This one isn't all that great... but I still had fun writing it. :smileyhappy:

 

The King's Heir

The rumor circulating the land was that the king was dead.
"The king has no heir!" The people cried.

When the knight named Christopher heard this, he was deeply troubled. For he was the King's closet friend.
Surely a messenger would have come, had anything happened.

He waited, and no messenger came, but the rumors continued.
So, Christopher made for the castle to see for himself.

It turned out, the message was that the King had no hair, not heir.
This was met with embarrassed relief, which then started the act of proper pronunciation throughout England and it's loyal subjects.

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"Just because you don't see them, doesn't mean they aren't there."
~ Jon Wieberg
Frequent Contributor
no_bs
Posts: 36
Registered: ‎08-31-2009
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Re: Drabbles

hey your "drabblers" are really good.

heres one for you from me -- keep it up

 

im leaving

i found sorrow in the eyes of he who loved me. without comprehending his pain and hurt.  up until the moment he spoke the words that immediatly crushed, ruined, and destroyed my life i was somewhat happy.  i never asked why, just hoped he would soon find what he was looking for.  i also hoped he would never regret what i now know he didnt love

 

its short i know but tell me if its good in order to turn it into a story or something

                       -*alexa*

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Frequent Contributor
mae-V
Posts: 147
Registered: ‎01-27-2007
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Re: Drabbles

[ Edited ]

ooooo... Nice to find you all here!

Have you seen 100words.com?  That's where I got started writing Drabbles.  Then, I wrote a few "here" (when the Writing Room was a couple of different writing fora(?)  ). With Nano just around the corner.. I will be quite happy to brush off my Drabble skills and participate.

Meanwhile...

Here is an exercise based on one of the promts in the group.  It's still untitled :-)

 

There is no tea; no party.
The essence of teaness
suffuses the field of the One as
it drifts through non-gravity,
not yet weightless.
The beginning of stirring
enters Its consciousness.
Stars circle the bowlness of
the Universe-as-teahouse.
It is the whisk.
It is the stirring,
It is the warmth of the bowl in
the gravity of the sun.
This is the season of Gravity.
In the almanac of motion through the Universe,
this is the favored season.
So close to the blueness,
suffused with desire and longing.
That distant mirror
Held in light embrace.
How long before you darken?

 

On 100Words I made an attempt at storytelling based on the theme of an event that had its own natural beginning, middle and end.  Anyone interested in doing something like that?

 

#Play tasty!#