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Distinguished Wordsmith
Dreamer4ever
Posts: 411
Registered: ‎11-06-2008

He Loves Me--Poem

 

He Loves Me

 

 

The flames lap at my legs.

Tasting my skin.

I feel the blisters.

Peeling flesh.

The fire burns to my bones.

Smoke scratches my eyes.

I try to rub it away.

It only hurts worse.

Tears stream down my face.

Black lines appear on my cheeks.

The soot falls in my hair.

I reach out, blindly.

My fingers grope.

I'm lost and alone.

I drop to my knees and feel the splintered wood catch on my skin.

I try to call out.

Gasp out a "help."

No one can hear me.

My throat is closing off.

The air is thick and I can't take it into my lungs.

My tears are now from fear.

My limbs become heavy.

My mind slows down.

I feel the intense heat, but I feel very cold, too.

My arms give out beneath me.

I lie on my stomach, waiting.

The potential darkness lurks in the corner.

Its ugly face watching me burn.

It's testing me.

It wants to see how long I can take the pain.

I refuse to be defeated.

My mind wanders to my dog.

Who will feed her if I'm gone?

My parents.

How will they handle burying a child?

My brother.

If I'm not able to tease him, who will take my place?

My sister.

Who will she have to talk to about boys, make-up, and friends?

Then I think of my boyfriend.

If I died would he cry at the funeral, like a baby?

Will he wonder how things "would have been?"

Will his heart break?

Will he realize he loved me?

Will he regret not saying the words?

The possibility makes me cringe.

What good is loving me if I'm dead?

I refuse to give in to the darkness.

My mind says "move."

My body can't take the pressure.

I don't want to die.

I'm suffocating.

I hold on to the last thread of life.

I cling to it, praying.

My eyelids droop.

My breaths are shallow.

I struggle not to let the light slip away.

It speeds farther and farther away from me until it's merely a spot in the distance.

Then it rushes back at full speed.

Suddenly the heat, pain is gone.

I'm...fighting...fighting...

...I'm...gone...

I loose all thought.

I feel full when my head seems empty.

I know not what happens around me.

I feel peace.

I feel safe...at last.

I wake, feeling the burn.

I crack my eyes open.

I glance around the room.

I lay, waiting.

I turn my head.

And there he is.

I'd wondered if he'd realize he loved me.

I realize now there is no question about it.

He loves me.

The way he's collapsed at the head of my bed.

His body sprawled in a hospital chair.

He holds my hand in his.

His eyes are closed and clearly tired.

His beard has grown.

The lines on his face are deep with worry, concern.

Oh, yes...he loves me.

I don't need words to know it.

I squeeze his hand.

He stirs.

His eyes open to stare at me, disbelieving.

My name tumbles from his lips and he leans over me.

He pulls me into his arms and holds me tight.

No question about it.

He loves me.

 

 

 

All poetry and prose are copyrighted.

 

 

 

Recently my family and I saw the movie Fireproof and I felt compelled to write this. Despite some mediocre acting and such, the movie was really inspirational even for me as a single person and this is what came to mind and heart. Please tell me what you think and comment on it. Any and all advice would be much appreciated!

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. --Mark Twain
Inspired Wordsmith
twilight_fanatic_01
Posts: 1,162
Registered: ‎01-02-2009
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Re: He Loves Me--Poem

A poem such as this I feel can be greatly appreciated once it has been read. I like the way you did it through first-person, how your character's thoughts seemed so...so REAL. Hold on to this poem: It's very touching.

 

"Even Supergirl has her kryptonite."

-A quote by moi

"Your dream vacation, smile hostage refuge, a work in progress, you bleed just like you puke while running the mile."

-Pretty Handsome Awkward, The Used
Distinguished Wordsmith
Dreamer4ever
Posts: 411
Registered: ‎11-06-2008
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Re: He Loves Me--Poem

Thanks. :smileyhappy:
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. --Mark Twain
Inspired Wordsmith
silverwings
Posts: 285
Registered: ‎01-16-2009
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Re: He Loves Me--Poem

Awesome! :smileysurprised:I think it'smuch better than mine..Good job! :smileyhappy:
"I'm asleep, but that doesn't mean I'm awake."
Distinguished Correspondent
simple_girl
Posts: 160
Registered: ‎12-28-2008
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Re: He Loves Me--Poem

Great work! I like how you guide the reader through the struggle, both physical and mental, that this woman faces.
"It is not what we say or feel that makes us what we are. It is what we do or fail to do."