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redheart52
Posts: 790
Registered: ‎12-25-2008

I am real hope...(poem)

I wrote this today and i want to know if it makes sense to all of you. I am really unsure about it and i don't know if it is clear. I am trying a new thing and really need your opinions. Thanks.

 

My feeble hands beat holes

in the walls of my heart.

With my head bent down

I let my tears dry.

I couldn’t see my destiny

through this false hope.

But I looked up for an answer.

And yet, nothing came to save me.

Noting my misfortune

I took my leave.

The world would be better

 without a lost soul like me. 

I now live in the hearts

Of every person’s soul.

I breathe life

into their tears and dreams.

I give them hope

that I never had

because others could benefit

from what I witnessed.

When the sky betrays you

I come to rescue you.

I take your hand

And fill your hearts with hope.

To you I may only be a dream

but I am real and obtainable.

 

Inspired Wordsmith
Pennley_Love
Posts: 300
Registered: ‎04-30-2009
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Re: I am real hope...(poem)

I just love your writing- it always makes sense to me! I am always worried people won't understand my writing too. It just sort of kicks and screams inside- and I have this weird sense in my hand that it wants to type or write something magical... At least to me it is! Hahaha. Well I really enjoyed your poem. The sense of feeling- it really sruck me. My favorite part was-"

To you I may only be a dream

but I am real and obtainable."

 

 

Really loved it! Please write more:smileywink:

Sincerely Yours,
Penn
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redheart52
Posts: 790
Registered: ‎12-25-2008
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Re: I am real hope...(poem)

Thanks Penn!! I was really unsure about posting this and you made me feel better. Thanks. I am glad you understood it and liked it. Thank you for responding. Much appreciated. :smileyhappy:
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twilight_fanatic_01
Posts: 1,162
Registered: ‎01-02-2009
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Re: I am real hope...(poem)

I so totally agree with Penn! Whenever you write poems, they have such a strong meaning to them that's impossible to ignore...I swear to God, your poetry reeks of awesome talent! I just adored this poem. Great, great, GREAT job!
"Your dream vacation, smile hostage refuge, a work in progress, you bleed just like you puke while running the mile."

-Pretty Handsome Awkward, The Used
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BLUEICEGAL
Posts: 1,846
Registered: ‎06-25-2008
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Re: I am real hope...(poem)

i really liked it, and the whole message it provided, i think we can especially relate to each others poem, since weve all been through tough times or are stil going through them
Wanna know the awesomeness that is moi??? movies, artists, gossip and the latest reviews of your fav books not to mention my upcoming twilight parody that i am currently working on is all here folks!! @ My Blog Fantasy4eva spread the word girls :smileyhappy:
Fantasy4eva
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redheart52
Posts: 790
Registered: ‎12-25-2008
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Re: I am real hope...(poem)

Thank you!! I wasn't sure anyone would understand it. *sigh*
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BeeZnEEz101
Posts: 494
Registered: ‎03-11-2009
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Re: I am real hope...(poem)

that was so amazing and honestly one of my favorite poems ever 

 

your word choice and writing style is great and everything flows as it should