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DMK52
Posts: 13
Registered: ‎12-17-2011
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Just Breath

[ Edited ]

Stuck in the mud surrounded by quicksand. The beauty of a rose stands tall atop a staff of thorns. 
Love and Hate balances on the razors edge, the breathe of a new born warms an old heart. 


Today, Yesterday, Tomorrow. 

The weight is heavy, at times unbearable, other times breathe is as relaxing as the purple mountains beauty of a perfect sunset. 

The journey long, feet tired and aching, time for side B of this broken record.

The days burn like the embers of the flame, time never slows, never takes a break. I stand, and trust tomorrow is a new day. 


Tomorrow will arrive, tomorrow. Nature, sky and earth gaze upon me, the silence of the wind shouts - Just breath. DMK.



DMK - Author of, From the Ashes, Coming Soon via Solstice Publishing.
Un-Complicate, loosen up, today is a new day if one can release yesterday to the winds.” DMK.
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Dan_Diego
Posts: 76
Registered: ‎09-17-2010
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Re: Just Breath

I can't tell if you are looking for feedback, but I made a few notes.

 

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I liked your images.

 

I looked up "breath" and "breathe."

 

Breath is a noun, i.e., every breath you take.

 

Breathe is a verb, i.e., breathe deep the gathering gloom.

 

There are a few cliches, i.e., razors edge, tomorrow is a new day.

 

The piece did not tie well together for me, the imagery bounced around.

 

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But it's your writing and it's meaningful to you; that's important.

 

Thanks for sharing.