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Inspired Scribe
carmen22
Posts: 988
Registered: ‎01-12-2009

Poem I wrote To Brighten Up Your Day!!!

 To brighten everyones sprit and to start the new week off right here's a little poem I wrote that I hope everyone enjoys:

 

 

Happy Days!!!

 

 

I saw a bird today, Flying and soaring through the Sky

 

Blue, red and orange what beautiful colors 

 

Up, down, and all around never hitting ground

 

If only I had Wings

 

I saw a horse today, if only for a second

 

Blazing Black blur as she flew right on by

 

What I wouldn't give for that kind of speed

 

If only for an Hour

 

I saw a bunny today, hoping through the forest

 

Fluffy little thing, to cute to be true

 

I gave my Heart away

 

I saw an alligator today, I stayed far enough away

 

Strong and fast are they, sorry no lunch today

 

What would I do with so much strength?

 

Perhaps I'd give it all away

 

Everyone could use a little, to make it through the Day!!

 

Written By Krista Carmen Cole

 

 

 

 If you have seen this on another borad it's because I didn't realize there was a writing room which is totally cool I love to write Poems!!! Have a Great Day!!!

 

  Also if anyone else has any poems to brighten up peoples day please feel free to add I'd love to hear/read them!!!

 

 

 

_______________________
"Bright colors, Vasher thought. I'll have to get used to those again. In any other nation, the vibrant blues and yellows would have been ridiculous on soldiers. This, however, was Hallandren: land of Returned gods, Lifeless servants, BioChromatic research, and - of course - color." Warbreaker By Brandon Sanderson
Distinguished Correspondent
simple_girl
Posts: 160
Registered: ‎12-28-2008

Re: Poem I wrote To Brighten Up Your Day!!!

Nice poem. I like the way you have taken a few animals and drawn from them what you envy. It is creative.
"It is not what we say or feel that makes us what we are. It is what we do or fail to do."
Frequent Contributor
A.Tross
Posts: 109
Registered: ‎12-30-2008
0 Kudos

Re: Poem I wrote To Brighten Up Your Day!!!

Honestly, that only depressed me. It was so sickly sweet I almost wanted to kill myself. And some grammar was incorrect. Sorry, my opinion.
*I am no poet.
Yet the words bite, scream, and scratch within me, until I release them from their imprisonment, forever stained in black and white.*
Yeah, I said it.
Inspired Scribe
carmen22
Posts: 988
Registered: ‎01-12-2009
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Re: Poem I wrote To Brighten Up Your Day!!!

Well I'm sorry it depressed you. I wasn't going for that but people will have different interpretations I'm sure. I'm not a poet I just like to write sometimes and I thought this was the writing room so thats why I shared it but thanks for being honest and sorry I messed up on the gammer it wasn't intentional. 

 


A.Tross wrote:
Honestly, that only depressed me. It was so sickly sweet I almost wanted to kill myself. And some grammar was incorrect. Sorry, my opinion.

 

_______________________
"Bright colors, Vasher thought. I'll have to get used to those again. In any other nation, the vibrant blues and yellows would have been ridiculous on soldiers. This, however, was Hallandren: land of Returned gods, Lifeless servants, BioChromatic research, and - of course - color." Warbreaker By Brandon Sanderson
Inspired Wordsmith
twilight_fanatic_01
Posts: 1,162
Registered: ‎01-02-2009

Re: Poem I wrote To Brighten Up Your Day!!!

I disagree with A. Tross. I think the poem was simply beautiful, and, though it is currently NIGHTTIME where I am, it certainly brightened my day.

 

"Even Supergirl has her kryptonite."

-A quote by moi

Inspired Scribe
carmen22
Posts: 988
Registered: ‎01-12-2009
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Re: Poem I wrote To Brighten Up Your Day!!!


twilight_fanatic_01 wrote:

I disagree with A. Tross. I think the poem was simply beautiful, and, though it is currently NIGHTTIME where I am, it certainly brightened my day.

 

"Even Supergirl has her kryptonite."

-A quote by moi


 

Thank you Twilight fanatic I appreciate that!!
_______________________
"Bright colors, Vasher thought. I'll have to get used to those again. In any other nation, the vibrant blues and yellows would have been ridiculous on soldiers. This, however, was Hallandren: land of Returned gods, Lifeless servants, BioChromatic research, and - of course - color." Warbreaker By Brandon Sanderson
Distinguished Scribe
booklover37
Posts: 513
Registered: ‎12-26-2008

Re: Poem I wrote To Brighten Up Your Day!!!

I agree with twilight_fanatic (sorry if thats wrong!) it was a really nice and well written poem. and i like how used you used the animals to describe everything. and it's really nice that you want to brighten up people's day! :smileyhappy:
"...life is a fight just the same, whether you fight it with weapons, or with words. You have to fight for what you believe in, and for the things you want.'"
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A.Tross
Posts: 109
Registered: ‎12-30-2008
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Re: Poem I wrote To Brighten Up Your Day!!!

Sorry, guys, that post was kinda mean. I was having a terrible day (personal reasons.)

 

*I am no poet.
Yet the words bite, scream, and scratch within me, until I release them from their imprisonment, forever stained in black and white.*
Yeah, I said it.
Distinguished Wordsmith
Dreamer4ever
Posts: 411
Registered: ‎11-06-2008

Re: Poem I wrote To Brighten Up Your Day!!!

Hey, Krista, what's up? :smileyhappy:

 

I like the image that you paint in your poem. I did see some grammatical mistakes, but overall it really did make me smile and it was enjoyable to read. Hope to see you post more poems!

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. --Mark Twain
Frequent Contributor
birdsongDS
Posts: 30
Registered: ‎04-01-2009

Re: Poem I wrote To Brighten Up Your Day!!!

Carmen, keep writing. Let your thoughts out and put them to pen. I have had bad days like A.Tross. One day I wasn't like that in my heart and wrote...

        Somewhere

  Something changed.

Life became important,

friends became my life.

         Taking gave way to

                   giving.

  Anger was pushed away by

                   love.

  Expectations changed to

                   reality.

        Somewhere

  Something changed.

Each day is a new chance.

I feel good as I am now.

Inspired Scribe
carmen22
Posts: 988
Registered: ‎01-12-2009
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Re: Poem I wrote To Brighten Up Your Day!!!

[ Edited ]

about the Grammar problems---

 

Okay so I don't usely right poems I just had an inspired moment. I wasn't sure on the grammar it was really just how I read it I guess. I guess thats what you get when you have no idea what your doing lol!! So the mistakes were not intentional just me trying to figure out how it should be read I was totally unsure about the grammer to begin with but things can be changed.

Message Edited by carmen22 on 04-07-2009 09:49 PM
_______________________
"Bright colors, Vasher thought. I'll have to get used to those again. In any other nation, the vibrant blues and yellows would have been ridiculous on soldiers. This, however, was Hallandren: land of Returned gods, Lifeless servants, BioChromatic research, and - of course - color." Warbreaker By Brandon Sanderson
Distinguished Wordsmith
Dreamer4ever
Posts: 411
Registered: ‎11-06-2008

Re: Poem I wrote To Brighten Up Your Day!!!

Oh, don't worry too much about it. Your poem only had minor mistakes. It wasn't bad. I've seen poems where grammar was bad, punctuation was used incorrectly, incorrect forms of words...all this to say that your's wasn't bad, and a lot of people could have overlooked them. It all takes practice. Hey, I'm still working on it, so I'm right there with you. But you should definitely continue writing poetry. It can be very relaxing to read and to write. Go for it!
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. --Mark Twain
Frequent Contributor
birdsongDS
Posts: 30
Registered: ‎04-01-2009

Re: Poem I wrote To Brighten Up Your Day!!!

The first thing you have to do when you feel inspired is to get it down on paper. Punctuation can come later. Put it down so you will be able to go back and draw that same feeling from it again. Some you may never touch, others you will rework several times.

I thought I had it all together when I did my book. Then I had it proofed. lol Is there anyone perfect?

Inspired Scribe
carmen22
Posts: 988
Registered: ‎01-12-2009
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Re: Poem I wrote To Brighten Up Your Day!!!


birdsongDS wrote:

I thought I had it all together when I did my book. Then I had it proofed. lol Is there anyone perfect?


What kind of book and whats it called?

_______________________
"Bright colors, Vasher thought. I'll have to get used to those again. In any other nation, the vibrant blues and yellows would have been ridiculous on soldiers. This, however, was Hallandren: land of Returned gods, Lifeless servants, BioChromatic research, and - of course - color." Warbreaker By Brandon Sanderson
Frequent Contributor
birdsongDS
Posts: 30
Registered: ‎04-01-2009

Re: Poem I wrote To Brighten Up Your Day!!!

Poetry, prose, and verses. Its been out about 2 months now. From the Shaddows of My Heart.  type it in to B&N and it will come up.
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Dreamer4ever
Posts: 411
Registered: ‎11-06-2008
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Re: Poem I wrote To Brighten Up Your Day!!!


birdsongDS wrote:

The first thing you have to do when you feel inspired is to get it down on paper. Punctuation can come later. Put it down so you will be able to go back and draw that same feeling from it again. Some you may never touch, others you will rework several times.


Good point. When you have something to write don't worry about punctuation and grammar. There's always time to rework it after you've got it down. Call it a rough draft. It's the first time to copy it down and the important part is getting it all out before you forget. Good advice!

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. --Mark Twain
Frequent Contributor
birdsongDS
Posts: 30
Registered: ‎04-01-2009
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Re: Poem I wrote To Brighten Up Your Day!!!

That is the only way I can do it. I have entries with just a few words and yet I know they will never be finished. Others I write to put my feelings down and then go back later and may a change to bring those feelings back to life. Some need silence and solitude, others just something to write on in the spur of a moment. Either way, it feels good to be inspired.