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Brandi_R
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Poetry Challenge: Use these 5 words

Write a poem that includes these five words:

 

deluxe

smoky

olive

wreck

penny

 

Post your poem and see how others respond, too!

letterpressfiction.blogspot.com
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becke_davis
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Re: Poetry Challenge: Use these 5 words

 

 

"Penny for your thoughts," he said

The bar was smoky and conveniently dark.

I was a wreck, but he couldn't see it.

I scrubbed the trail of mascara from my cheek,

determined to forget the deluxe hotel room

I'd seen my husband enter with a blonde bimbette.

I plucked an olive from the amber liquid and

rolled it on my tongue.

I don't even like olives.

I turned to him, my voice harsh, unfamiliar.

"They aren't worth it."

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Book_Girl14
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Re: Poetry Challenge: Use these 5 words

She must have come from the recent ship wreck,

It had only happened last night.

I was headed toward Sir Blackwell's deluxe party

When I saw her with only the cloths on her back and a penny.

She stood there on the corner and watched me as I walked,

Her smoky eyes grabbing every angle of my movement,

She was beautiful and exotic with midnight hair

and olive skin that look as soft as a rose petal.

I didn't offer her anything.

I hurried to the party hoping to see my sweetheart.

He came not long after I 

The beautiful girl's fingers tucked in the crook of his arm

I stormed away from the lavish party

As angry as the sea that brought her here.

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KaseyJean
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Registered: ‎04-27-2010
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Re: Poetry Challenge: Use these 5 words

A thought is worth a million dollars but yet all are pennies in a jar of the big picture

Things seem deluxe in state and time but break down into a smoky vision

Olive to green as luxurious to decorated

Why wreck simple to further toward chaotic

Peace and patience fall in pennies

 

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KaseyJean
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Re: Poetry Challenge: Use these 5 words

Becke_Davis...I love your poem...It was serious with but the whitty woman's vengence. Great job!

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becke_davis
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Re: Poetry Challenge: Use these 5 words

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Brandi_R
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Re: Poetry Challenge: Use these 5 words

 

becke_davis wrote:

 

 

"Penny for your thoughts," he said

The bar was smoky and conveniently dark.

I was a wreck, but he couldn't see it.

I scrubbed the trail of mascara from my cheek,

determined to forget the deluxe hotel room

I'd seen my husband enter with a blonde bimbette.

I plucked an olive from the amber liquid and

rolled it on my tongue.

I don't even like olives.

I turned to him, my voice harsh, unfamiliar.

"They aren't worth it."

 

Great poem! I like how you've taken a very specific moment in time and let it illustrate the larger, deeper issue of this speaker's shock and grief at finding out about her husband's affair.

 

letterpressfiction.blogspot.com
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Brandi_R
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Re: Poetry Challenge: Use these 5 words

 

Book_Girl14 wrote:

She must have come from the recent ship wreck,

It had only happened last night.

I was headed toward Sir Blackwell's deluxe party

When I saw her with only the cloths on her back and a penny.

She stood there on the corner and watched me as I walked,

Her smoky eyes grabbing every angle of my movement,

She was beautiful and exotic with midnight hair

and olive skin that look as soft as a rose petal.

I didn't offer her anything.

I hurried to the party hoping to see my sweetheart.

He came not long after I 

The beautiful girl's fingers tucked in the crook of his arm

I stormed away from the lavish party

As angry as the sea that brought her here.

 

Wonderful poem, Book_Girl14. I like the unexpected use of some of the words: “deluxe party” and “with only the clothes on her back and a penny.” The phrasing is quite unique. That’s sometimes a delightful benefit of writing with a “rule.”

 

letterpressfiction.blogspot.com
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Brandi_R
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Re: Poetry Challenge: Use these 5 words

 

KaseyJean wrote:

A thought is worth a million dollars but yet all are pennies in a jar of the big picture

Things seem deluxe in state and time but break down into a smoky vision

Olive to green as luxurious to decorated

Why wreck simple to further toward chaotic

Peace and patience fall in pennies

 

 

Great poem, KaseyJean, particularly the last line. Nice use of alliteration with “peace,” “patience,” and “pennies.” I also like that it creates an interesting image—something for the reader to picture.  

letterpressfiction.blogspot.com
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Brandi_R
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Re: Poetry Challenge: Use these 5 words

Very different poems grew out of the base of a few shared words. It would be interesting to hear how you all approached this exercise. Can you share with us how you went about crafting the poem? Did the words suggest a certain topic or scene? Did you have something in mind to begin with and simply found a way to fit the words into it?

 

 


“I'll go home, I guess, / to my rooms where the moon / changes & shines / like television.” ~Kevin Young, “Ode to the Midwest”

 

letterpressfiction.blogspot.com
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Book_Girl14
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Re: Poetry Challenge: Use these 5 words

Brandi_R wrote:

Very different poems grew out of the base of a few shared words. It would be interesting to hear how you all approached this exercise. Can you share with us how you went about crafting the poem? Did the words suggest a certain topic or scene? Did you have something in mind to begin with and simply found a way to fit the words into it?

 

 


“I'll go home, I guess, / to my rooms where the moon / changes & shines / like television.” ~Kevin Young, “Ode to the Midwest”

 

 

Every word I see or read, if it isn't already in a story, I just have to make up my own story for them. I looked at those words and thought, "How can I make these words that have nothing to do with each other support each other in a story, or obviously a poem?" I just started typing not thinking of what the words really mean, just what they meant to me. Shaping the story around the words. To me those words were more mysterious than what they seem. Deluxe, smoky, olive, wreck, and penny, all simple words, but that's what I wanted to change. Hopefully, everyone will agree that I gave a twist to the words to made them original. :smileyhappy:

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KaseyJean
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Re: Poetry Challenge: Use these 5 words

This was a very fun exercise. Hopefully there will be more in the future! I simply went about the poem by starting with one of the words and kept typing. Sometimes this works for me. I can overthink things somethings so just typing really helps my writing.

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Brandi_R
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Re: Poetry Challenge: Use these 5 words

 

Book_Girl14 wrote:

 

Every word I see or read, if it isn't already in a story, I just have to make up my own story for them. I looked at those words and thought, "How can I make these words that have nothing to do with each other support each other in a story, or obviously a poem?" I just started typing not thinking of what the words really mean, just what they meant to me. Shaping the story around the words. To me those words were more mysterious than what they seem. Deluxe, smoky, olive, wreck, and penny, all simple words, but that's what I wanted to change. Hopefully, everyone will agree that I gave a twist to the words to made them original. :smileyhappy:

 

 

That's a great approach--making connections between the words. I think you did an excellent job accomplishing what you sent out to do!

 

 


“I'll go home, I guess, / to my rooms where the moon / changes & shines / like television.” ~Kevin Young, “Ode to the Midwest”

 

letterpressfiction.blogspot.com
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Brandi_R
Posts: 1,598
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Re: Poetry Challenge: Use these 5 words

 

KaseyJean wrote:

This was a very fun exercise. Hopefully there will be more in the future! I simply went about the poem by starting with one of the words and kept typing. Sometimes this works for me. I can overthink things somethings so just typing really helps my writing.

 

I'm glad you enjoyed this one, KaseyJean. I'm going to put another poetry one up soon as a last hurrah for National Poetry Month. (Of course, there will be plenty more to come beyond April, too!) Your approach of starting with one of the words and just going forward is a great one. I often find that kind of freewheeling writing can take one in unique and unexpected directions.

 

 

 


“I'll go home, I guess, / to my rooms where the moon / changes & shines / like television.” ~Kevin Young, “Ode to the Midwest”

 

letterpressfiction.blogspot.com
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KathyS
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Re: Poetry Challenge: Use these 5 words

Write a poem that includes these five words:

 

deluxe to me, is not on this tour

smoky rooms to ghastly rooms, from ceiling to floor

olive green walls, and  bed springs too weak

wreck in this case, the pipes spring a leak

penny for penny, and pound for pound

this is the worst

imaginable room around!

 

Kathy :smileyhappy:

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Darkkin
Posts: 2,224
Registered: ‎08-15-2009

Re: Poetry Challenge: Use these 5 words

You hit the nail on the head with this.  I can see the peeling paint, the water stains, and the sagging bed springs.  The air is blue with stale smoke...Love it. 

'Of wings and words and dancing milkweed seeds...'

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Darkkin
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Registered: ‎08-15-2009

Re: Poetry Challenge: Use these 5 words

[ Edited ]

 

Gravity, wretched, gravity

Oh, how you descend on me.

This is my lament.

.

It lay there, a wreck upon the floor.

I fought back a cry,

For that thing had cost me my final copper penny.

Such was the wreck of my smoky, olive loaf deluxe.

 

Gravity, wretched, gravity.

Oh, how I curse thee.

This is my lament.

 

There is no five second rule for olive loaf.

'Of wings and words and dancing milkweed seeds...'

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KathyS
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Re: Poetry Challenge: Use these 5 words

Nice sense of humor!   :smileyhappy:

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Brandi_R
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Re: Poetry Challenge: Use these 5 words

 


Darkkin wrote:

 

 

There is no five second rule for olive loaf.


 

Ha! I like how this grows out of such a somber first line: "Gravity, wretched, gravity"

 

letterpressfiction.blogspot.com
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Darkkin
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Re: Poetry Challenge: Use these 5 words

It was 1:00 AM when I bounced that out.  My demented sense of humor got the better of me.  :smileywink:

'Of wings and words and dancing milkweed seeds...'