07-29-2009 12:20 PM
Any feedback is greatly appreciated, please let me know what you think so I can continue to improve. Thanks!
The Sounds of Feeling
Ears erect with puzzled awe.
I lean to press my ear,
Against the obstruction invading my perception.
The door opens wide,
I am sucked inside.
Voices and instruments colliding with dexterous precision.
I lift my head up to the ominous light,
Craning my neck at the wondrous beauty that has enveloped me.
My eyes are wide,
My ears erect,
My senses heightened with feeling.
Feeling emanating from the sounds.
They burrow themselves through my thoughts,
Making a home in my heart.
Piercing the hearing through sound waves of passion.
They hold meaning within,
They can heal open wounds.
This is what feelings sound like.
No matter who am I,
No matter where I am,
They will find me and make their way in.
Pulsing to the beat of my heart.
The sounds radiate sensation and emotion,
I can feel the experience washing over me.
No matter the destination,
No matter the mood,
The sounds are always there to guide me.
I let the beauty take over me,
Listening to the brilliance in harmony.
This is a gift,
A gift of feeling.
Opening my ears and expanding my mind,
I let myself truly feel.
07-29-2009 05:30 PM
Ack...everything in this poem so totally knocks against the walls of my heart! I am reminded of things that I have held myself back from for so long, and it sends pangs of sorrow through my veins. This is an excellent poem for you to make me feel in this way :-)
My only complaint is that though you are descriptive and you are writing using free style poetry, your lines are somewhat choppy and need to be shortened in areas. Such as the words "voices and instruments colliding with dexterous precision" would do best divided into two lines, not just one.
-Pretty Handsome Awkward, The Used
07-29-2009 07:00 PM
07-29-2009 08:16 PM
08-03-2009 02:15 AM - edited 08-03-2009 02:16 AM
wow, again, im breathless. i really like the last 2 stanzas. you are truely brilliant. you write with sich emotion and passion, and truthfullness. once again(like the skin poem post i said) i love so many stories and exerpts and poems, i wish i could put them in a pocked near my heart and hold on to them, remember them, share them, feel them.