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Correspondent
JamieScott
Posts: 58
Registered: ‎06-13-2009

What do you think? Poem

Would love everyone's thoughts on my poem.  Thx!  :smileyhappy:

 

 

Nothingness  



A little girl cries at her reflection
An evil laugh of perfection
The mirror image of deception
A torturous bout with redemption

She stares back at her imaginary friend
Mending her heart with imaginary thread
Sewing together the nothingness
Tearing apart her self confidence

She cries for her smiling thief
Robbing her of her own two feet
Binding her soul in an olive sheath,
While stealthily stealing her golden wreath

She patiently prays to the silent blue
Methodically wishing on every cue
Robotically letting her soul run loose
Against the pull of the mental noose

Her questions fly with phony wings
Floating around in the phony breeze
Forever answered with falsities
And truthfully derived arbitrarily

Little girl, please don’t cry!
Look into your own two eyes
Shy away from that shiny mirror
Live within your tacit hero.

Think of that, which isn’t thought.
Examine that, which others bought.
Consider the power of perception.
The derivative of all reflection

*****
...everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt. ~Sylvia Plath
Inspired Wordsmith
twilight_fanatic_01
Posts: 1,162
Registered: ‎01-02-2009
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Re: What do you think? Poem

I loved how visually adept you were in this poem! I'm glad you posted this. I enjoyed it very much.
Inspired Scribe
_mOonSeeKer_
Posts: 700
Registered: ‎06-15-2009
0 Kudos

Re: What do you think? Poem

That was sooooo good! Keep writing!
http://whisperinglostwords.blogspot.com
Distinguished Scribe
booklover37
Posts: 513
Registered: ‎12-26-2008
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Re: What do you think? Poem

It was very well written.. I like your style. And I like how you described everything and it fromed a picture in my head. In other words, it was an awesome poem!!! keep writing! :smileyhappy:
"...life is a fight just the same, whether you fight it with weapons, or with words. You have to fight for what you believe in, and for the things you want.'"
Correspondent
JamieScott
Posts: 58
Registered: ‎06-13-2009
0 Kudos

Re: What do you think? Poem

Thank you guys so so much!!  I really appreciate the encouragement and your comments are really helpful as to what direction to go in with my writing style. :smileyhappy:   

 

If anyone has time to read my post from last week titled something like "synopsis, prologue and first chapter" about Facebook & the internet, I'd love your feedback on that too! 

 

I'm really nervous about that one because it has a VERY unconventional structure and plot. 

 

Thx!   

*****
...everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt. ~Sylvia Plath