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ToriSky16
Posts: 19
Registered: ‎07-22-2009

You've Got a Friend

Any feedback is greatly appreciated, so let me know what you think. Thanks!

 

You’ve Got a Friend

 

I walk along this empty road,

Watching life pass me by.

I realize that I am not alone,

For a familiar face lingers near.

I take refuge in the presence of whom I know so fondly.

They are a light in dark times,

The breeze on a hot summer day,

The comfort of acceptance,

Yet so much more.

 

We assemble on this deserted bench,

Taking in the exquisite afternoon.

For when they are there with me,

The sun shines brighter,

The day unfolds far greater.

Though all around is empty,

We are filled with enchantment.

Just sitting on this bench by their side,

I feel released.

 

As we continued strolling down this empty road,

We gaze at each other and know.

We know that things will be alright,

We know we will always be there,

We know that words can never describe,

What the true meaning of friendship holds inside.

 

Though life is a game,

And the rules are ever changing.

There is solace in the closeness of others,

A feeling like home that always remains.

Life is short, so give it your all,

But know that in your journey through life,

They will always be there at your side.

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redheart52
Posts: 790
Registered: ‎12-25-2008
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Re: You've Got a Friend

I really liked this poem. Its uplifting and sweet. I felt like every word had its place and fit perfectly in your poem. I liked how you described friendship and made it such a great thing. Definatly keep writing because the things you write about are just great. =)
Inspired Wordsmith
twilight_fanatic_01
Posts: 1,162
Registered: ‎01-02-2009
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Re: You've Got a Friend

All I can say is...wow. I loved how you weaved the stanzas together, and I could totally envision everything you described. I haven't read any of your other poems yet (I'm in CA at the moment and for the first time in almost two weeks finally have Internet access xD), but you can count on that I will! Great job, Tori!
"Your dream vacation, smile hostage refuge, a work in progress, you bleed just like you puke while running the mile."

-Pretty Handsome Awkward, The Used
Contributor
ToriSky16
Posts: 19
Registered: ‎07-22-2009
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Re: You've Got a Friend

Thank you! I actually just moved from CA. I'd love to hear what you think of my other poems, so feel free to let me know what you think when you read them. I didn't put any punctuation in the other poems though, which I do see now makes them flow much better and the impact is a bit stronger. I recently did go back though and add the punctuation, I just didn't want to post them again on here just for the punctuation.
Inspired Wordsmith
random97
Posts: 740
Registered: ‎06-23-2009
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Re: You've Got a Friend

tori! i have read three objects of ytour work, and i have loved them all. just wow, i dont know what to say, what i had ive alread in the other two, its diddo, and you always leave me breathless.
"I've been making a list of the things they don't teach you at school. They don't teach you how to love somebody. They don't teach you how to be famous. They don't teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don't teach you how to walk away from someone you don't love any longer. They don't teach you how to know what's going on in someone else's mind. They don't teach you what to say to someone who's dying. They don't teach you anything worth knowing."