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Correspondent
hopper14
Posts: 51
Registered: ‎03-06-2009

-forever-

The eyes that kill me

Blue beautiful eyes

So much love in them

Beautiful babyboy eyes 

 

The smile that melts my heart

I want to kiss those soft lips

And take away that beautiful smile

If you kiss me back, you can have your smile

 

When i look at your beautiful face

You make my heart complete

I want to look into your eyes and smile back

And tell you that I Love You

 

-Forever-

 

------------------------

this poem i made cause i had a crush on someone but never gave him this poem... i chickened out but in the beginning you can put blue or brown for the eye color...

Distinguished Correspondent
marilynpsychic
Posts: 266
Registered: ‎09-20-2008
0 Kudos

Re: -forever-

[ Edited ]

Very nice, Hopper!  You might get more feedback if you put your poems like this in the Teen Forum.

 

Don't give up!  Your poetry is both beautiful and heartfelt.  The emotions are raw and genuine, and it's obvious you had someone specific in mind when you wrote it.

 

As a married lady, I'm unsure how your "crush" would have reacted if you had given him this poem.  Maybe someone in the Teen Forum could answer that for you.

 

Good luck!

Message Edited by marilynpsychic on 04-15-2009 03:22 PM
"I'm a writer. I give the truth scope." Chaucer (character) in movie "A Knight's Tale"
Bibliophile
Silvermist24
Posts: 1,257
Registered: ‎03-25-2009
0 Kudos

Re: -forever-

That was really good! I can tell that you really like him. You should try to give it to him, maybe he'll say something.

I loved it!

Baby you can drive my car,
Yes I'm gonna be a star,
Baby you can drive my car,
And Baby I love you,
Beep Beep, Beep Beep, Yea!