05-17-2007 12:35 PM
A young village girl named Haruhi Lynn Swyft is, as everyone thinks, just a normal, everyday farmer who lives with her older cousin, who is actually her only known living relative. One day, a group of soldiers come into the village, which is called Larain, looking for able men and women to aid in their journey back to their homeland, Valia. Haruhi offers her services as a medic since her cousin is not going due to his old injury, but tells her to go see the world, like she wants to. None of them yet know of the evil Warlock/Necromancer named Kielv'd, who is of the Ancient Blood of the Old Kings. Kielv'd was thought to be dead, except his brother, the Good King Zachary, doesn't quite believe that. For that reason, he tries to make sure his son, Benedict (Ben), is fully aware of possible danger, and ready to face it when, if at all, it comes. Anyway, on the journey, the soldiers are attacked by a group of demons who are, for a reason I will say in a moment, are trying to learn Haruhi's identity, and take her to Kielv'd. Kielv'd has no heir, and his wife ran away 17 years ago, to some hidden place on the mainland. It turns out, as Haruhi finds, at the end of the first book (once it's completed anyway) that she is the daughter of Rosalind, who was the wife of Kielv'd back when he was not evil. She ran away when he turned to the dark magics, which eventually overtook his soul and body, and, took with her, the child she was carrying.
What do you think of that idea?
Unfortunately, I can't think of a title, and the story is only just started. I want to make it into a series, but I'm having problems with names for that, too.
05-18-2007 10:09 AM
I like the idea for your story...it could have lots of adventure/drama and some mystery...and as far as the title I like the first name of your Character...it is interesting and attracting...Haruhi
05-18-2007 12:30 PM
05-18-2007 12:51 PM
"Hail, cousin! Welcome home!" she called, waving.
He waved back, and replied,"It is good to be back!"
He pulled the old horse to a halt as she reached him.
This was Calvin Baker, an eighteen year-old boy, and older cousin of the girl.
She, a sixteen year-old, was his only living family. Her name was Haruhi Lynn Swyft.
"You have been gone too long." Haruhi told Calvin, climbing up to sit beside him.
He made the old nag walk again, pulling the cart further towards home.
"Nay, Haruhi, it has only been a fortnight." He replied.
Haruhi shook her head, red-gold curls shimmering in the sunlight.
"I think more, but you only say 'Nay' to taunt poor Eali." she said, leaning forward to pat the horse, who whickered. "See? He agrees with me." She said.
"Perhaps he disagrees, telling you Nay, it has been far shorter than you may say." He grinned as she pushed him in a friendly manner.
"Stop it, Cal! You'll end up irritating him." She made a strange face. "Besides, who knows what 'Nay' means in horse language? You might really have offended him."
Calvin laughed, and the the wagon stopped, as they had reached Larain.
I'll be back monday. If you have any advice, or ways of improvement, please let me know.
05-18-2007 09:48 PM
05-19-2007 05:33 PM
05-21-2007 12:30 PM - edited 05-21-2007 12:30 PM
I am a little in the dark on how you pronounce her name...and abuot the title...and names, in my personal opinion sometimes when you try too hard to have unique names and such it gets confusing. I am not saying that unique names are a bad thing, but common ones have a lot to lend to the writing too...
sorry about the name pronunciation. Hers is the only really weird one, besides a dark knight's.
here it is:
Haruhi (huh-roo-E) Lynn (lin) Swyft (swift)
The knight's name is pronounced:
Sir Laos (Lay-us) Perth (pearth)
Oh, and the evil guy's name is:
does that help?
Message Edited by magic_goddess16 on 05-21-200711:35 AM